The Inner Hurricane

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‘Eye of the Storm” oil on canvas, Beki

This has week has been utterly exhausting emotionally and mentally, as we and many more in the Caribbean, Florida and the South Eastern US have been watching the strongest biggest storm on record to plough its way through the waters crushing islands and threatening our safety, stuff and peace of mind.

Peace of mind is what I really want to address here. How do we cultivate an aptitude to inner peace, so that when life’s hurricanes, literally or figuratively, threaten our wellbeing, we are able to respond from peace rather than fear? Today is 9/11, an infamous day here in the US when the Twin Towers in New York City were reduced to rubble after 2 planes intentionally flew into them. It was shocking and devastating and rocked the sense of security Americans had felt in regards to such attacks. It shattered a collective sense of comfort and maybe a false peace of mind. 911 are the number we dial to call for HELP.

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How can we dial directly to the help that taps into the peace of mind that allows us to weather any storm that life delivers to us? Yesterday, in the midst of this whole experience of preparing for Hurricane Irma that was slowly turning west away from us, revealing that the personal threat to our town and home would be minimal, I grappled with my own inner storm. I woke up at 3 am to find my two sons and nephew ‘mesmerized’ in playing computer games together. It triggered a mini storm in my head that I seemed incapable of quelling. My initial internal venting entailed feelings of anger, indignation, irritation, hopelessness for humanity and the obsession with these glowing screens that give us this false sense of connection with each other, but actually rob us of the connection with the organic world of human contact and the beautiful earth we inhabit. Yes I went there! As a mother of 3 sons I have grappled with this feeling of frustration around the whole issue of video games and such for 20 years. It has definitely been one of those reoccurring concerns/thorns that has contributed to taking away my Inner Peace, uncountable times. Needless to say, the inner storm amidst the outer storm robbed me of much needed sleep.

I don’t want to focus so much on the issue of glowing screens here. What I am really interested in is the inner storms that can be triggered by thousands of stressful thoughts. Usually the thought is aligned with fear. Certainly the discomfort felt in preparing for a hurricane and watching the media coverage around the storm has the potential to cause as much angst as riding out the storm itself. It is the projection of a devastating future, fear future, that grips us. With the modern conveniences of glowing screens 24 hours a day, we have this thought that somehow we can control the outcomes by listening to the confusing, mixed messages offered, whether it is about the weather or diseases or politics. We cling to the messages hoping they will provide us with the guidance that will solve the problems that face humanity. Secretly we wish for the guidance to quell the storm in our mind, possibly even more than the condition that is causing it. Of course the true guidance we seek can only be found in the silencing of the fear-based chatter and to go to the True Source of all solutions.

Suffering stems from the thoughts, not the reality. I have suffered on and off this past week as we navigated the information about this outer storm. There were times I was able to consciously focus on peace and stayed away from the media as much as possible, but still would catch wind of fearful frequencies. Well, how could I miss them. The frequencies of the fear blew as strong as Irma’s winds. We are challenged to find a way to the inner peace, the ‘I’ of the storm, that is serene amongst the mayhem of life. This is the greatest challenge of the times, I feel. The distractions are unbelievable! How can we cultivate this Inner Peace instead of feed the fire of the Inner Storm?

While I do not know what the ultimate answer is for that question, I do know that I am on a journey of answering that for myself. Each of us needs to find our own way. It is the awareness and intention that is the first step. As we become aware of the source of our inner storm as the thoughts we think, than we realize that we can intentionally redirect the thoughts. What activity or practice can support you in redirecting thoughts? I walk in nature. I write, I paint. Sometimes meditation helps. Going to sleep is miraculous. What calms your storm? What nurtures the scared inner child? What soothes you back into alignment with the Source of your True Self?

peacePeace’, oil on canvas, by Beki

When I align with Love, with the Divine, with my Inner Being, the unlimited, eternal Self I feel a deep joyful peace. When I feel this peace, I do not feel fear. The two emotions cannot abide together. I recently heard a zen monk say, ” To be fearless really is actually being peaceful.” Unconditional Love is really being able to stay aligned with Love regardless of the conditions. Unconditional Peace, Joy, Love. This is the practice that brings freedom.

When I am able to live more and more from this cultivated, intentional place of unconditional Love, Peace and Joy then not only do I benefit from this freedom, but I have a chance to affect Peace in the world around me, one person at a time. My very presence will then have the potential to quell the storm within another, and another and another.

 

 

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Mother Soul

SAMSUNG DIGIMAX 420

 

The following is a beautiful transmission offered to me by my Divine Guidance while I am in my own Akashic Records. Often I open my records and then ask a question to the Masters, Teachers and Loved Ones and then ‘channel’ the answer by writing in my journal. This has been a wonderful and enlightening practice that I have been doing for many years now. It has been very helpful in accessing a deeper wisdom that really is at the core of my being. My Guides work with me to unveil my own knowing. For this I am very grateful. Yesterday was Mother’s Day 2016. This is how I began my day. Sitting on my back porch surrounded by my personal garden paradise, I take a moment to meditate and then open the Akashic Records.

Me: I am feeling an underlying sadness. Not sure what it is all about. Woke up with a little pang of anxiety, something I have not felt in a really long time. I would appreciate your help so I can get some clarity.

MTLO (Masters, Teachers, Loved Ones): Blessings dear child. You are entering a phase of deep remembering. You are holding the heart of mother’s in yours. It is heavy with both sorrow and love. Mother’s weep everywhere for the awakening of this planet’s inhabitants. The Mother Earth holds you all with deep love and care and yet she is incensed by your wild adolescent disregard, your narcissism that renders her lands disrespected.

She is shedding the old you, like the lizard, green like spring leaves, sheds it old skin. She is shaking you up, opening your hearts and piercing the shield that has inebriated your mind, keeping you from recognizing your Soul.

Your Great Mother loves you Unconditionally and embraces the essence of humanity in her massive brown body, weighed down by the waters of her deep blue sea of tears.
She will not forsake you in your childish tantrums, but she will coax you awake with her winds and fires and trembling lands. And if you continue your flailing and screaming your rants of fear, separation, possessiveness, she will erupt mountain tops to bring you back to your senses.

You sense the mother that weeps for her children, as you carry the imprint of the mother gene in every living cell of your body. You know and feel the aching of the earth and your human sisters that yearn for your children to Awaken to the Love that they are. You know the deep desire that the Mother holds to feed her children all that nourishes their bodies, minds and souls.

The Mother Soul you inhabit is not just the human individual self that strives to balance this sacred role on earth, but she is the collective Soul that sits in the core of the earth and is born of the Divine Feminine.

This Mother Soul is wild and sensual, fierce and determined. She is soft and nurturing, steady and committed. She is utterly creative and her strength is unrivaled in the Universe.

Today on this day that the Mother is honored, you feel her Heart in your heart and your desire to weep is the yearning to release all the fullness that overflows the great breadth of her loving chalice.

Your own vessel cannot hold the massiveness of love and gratitude that you feel for the Mother Soul. It cannot contain the tendrils of her Love that reach out like roots extending to the core of the earth.

You yourself born of mother, belong to the mother, just as you are mother yourself. The intricate web of love embodied by the Divine Feminine courses through your veins and roots you to her heart.

Surrender to her, for she will nurture you and guide you and prepare you for your flight. Let go and trust, for she is the bridge between the Unlimited Divine and the brilliant flesh of life. She will show you how to live on earth embodied by your Soul. She will show you the Divine, living within the manifested world.

And when you surrender to her love, her wisdom, you will at last, be free!

Happy Mother’s Day beautiful Soul Mother. We honor and celebrate you in all ways!

PEACE AND PASSION

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For my 40th birthday, Sherman, my husband, gave me the best gift ever. He designed and self published a book of my art. I had been saying I needed to do this for years. I had many of my paintings already photographed. He managed to do it without me knowing. I was shocked and moved and very grateful. I was able to go back into the program he created it in and edit the book, as he knew I would want to. I added poetry and paintings, and yet the original was beautiful and complete unto itself.

The title of the book is Peace and Passion. I feel like those two words truly encompass the essence of my art as well as my personal approach to life. Not so long ago I wrote this poem:

Peace and Passion

I am passionate about Peace
it is the essence of what I desire more than anything else…
the sensation of peace

Peace is a passionate place
that resides deep
in the red hot crevices
of my heart

It is soothing
and sensuous
It is sexy and expansive
It is ecstasy
and the deep sleep
that follows a passionate
release.

It is the place
felt
after resistance
yields
to surrender.

It is commitment
to the innermost
intimate place
that when we touch it
we open to
the most ecstatic
passionate

F R E E D O M

Passion without Peace
is an amputation
a limb without the body to
ground it

into the lush
yummy
silence

Passion without Peace
is flight
endless flight
without a place to land
when the wings are weary.

Passion is Peace
the expression of all that Peace knows
They are the yin and the yang of each other

I choose Peace
first
and then may the wings of Passion
carry me
into the unknown realms
that Peace would have me know

then….
may Passion
open me
render me helpless
to control its joy
its vast, endless, bottomless pit
of Love….expressed

May Peace surrender me to Passion
and may Passion
open my heart
fearlessly to
All that Is

All
that
Is!

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Compassion

IMG_2584This is an excerpt from my unpublished book, a spiritual memoir about Awakening.

Compassion is a feeling, an e-motion that moves us into connection with another that is suffering. Compassion dares to wade in the water of pain to touch the one who is submersed, unsure of whether she will drown. It caresses her and sits with her in the watery depths of despair, breathing enough oxygen for both of them, being mindful to keep its head above the water. Compassion is fearless in its willingness to be present in the pain that so often elicits humanity to its threshold. It knows its connection to Divine sustenance, and takes that knowing with it when it enters the frays of human disconnection. It leans into the dark hole of forgetfulness, connecting to its own humanness to connect the one who weeps, to the world of infinite love and wisdom. Compassion sits comfortably with the sadness and holds gently the bereaved. It opens human heart to hold the fullness of her sweet pain and transforms it into the Love that it truly is.

Compassion is the human expression of Divine Love. It is the delicious connection to humanity and sensation. It is the flesh of love that binds us to each other. It offers the visceral awareness that we are truly One.

The challenge with compassion arises when we unconsciously choose compassion over alignment with Source/Self. While compassion delivers us to the heart and soul of human connection, if we are not awake in our empathy, we may drown in a perception of another’s pain forgetting not only their intrinsic wellbeing that lies at the core of all beings, but we may be swept away in the current of another’s disconnection, risking our own stability which is often the very thing necessary to support the other in their resurfacing and realignment with their True Self. We must temper our propensity to dive into the depths of someone else’s despair when our nature leans towards compassion, and remember to keep our head above water.

I notice when I am feeling lost and unaligned that the peaceful strong energy of my mother, my husband, a friend, is much more comforting than someone who commiserates with me in my story of pain. Yet, I do not want them to pull me out of my emotions with the likes of a cheerleader on the sidelines coaxing me to joy, prematurely. I am grateful when they step into the space where I am, with their love and reverence for the process I am experiencing, honoring my pain, but not joining it. I am grateful when they sit quietly as I weep and I can feel their strong knowing that I am well, that I will feel well again, even when it seems impossible to me in that moment.

I choose to cultivate within me, this perfect blend between the compassion that dares to lean into the heart of human suffering and the mindfulness of staying awake and connected while reaching into this space of dark beauty, staying grounded in knowing the wellbeing of the other and of myself. I choose to be intimate with life, with my human nature, and I choose to be fierce in my commitment to alignment with my Divine nature. As I continue the practice of Unconditional Love, that knows love in all conditions, I am confident that my ability to remain in alignment while compassionately connecting with another who is not, will grow and blossom.

Rich Mother

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Rich mother
With very little money
Rich
Regardless of the condition of money being present.

Like unconditional love
Love,
Regardless of the conditions that are present.

A mother who taught me what it is to be rich
With or without the tangible manifestation of
Money.

She teases about going to the ‘Ocean Course’,
When I am taking care of her
When she becomes to…something…to take care of herself.
We laugh that I may put her on a budget and
That the extravagance of the plush beach resort restaurant
Will be too much for me to afford for her.

My heart smiles
And I think what a joy, pleasure and honor it would be to
Take her to her favorite place that feeds her soul
with food drenched in island sun
and an eyeful of sea-full splendor.

To be rich is to know you are worthy
Of such beauty
Such art
Regardless of how much money you have in your wallet or bank account.

To be rich is to live in a humble dwelling
and make it into a royal palace
of sacred opulent beauty
Infused with the divine
Emanating from objects reflecting consciousness
Art on every wall
Created by her
By me
Her grandson.

To be rich is to wake up each morning in this beautiful
Warm glow of spirit
Surrounding
Enveloping
And oozing from
you
Her
me.

To be rich is to know how to live Unconditional Love
To Love without condition
aware of
Connected to
The Divine Love
That we all are
No matter what shows up in our experience.

Opulence beyond your imagination
Living from the very core of your Soul
Where we are in communion with the realm of the Divine,
The Infinite Field of Possibility and Unconditional Love.

This is the rich soil
From which my being originates
In the dark soil of the Great Mother
and the sweet awakening spirit
Of the earth mother
Who knew her worth at a core level
Even when she was not aware of it.

So yes
My sweet matriarch, crone and wise woman
I will take you to the beautiful place that makes your heart sing
And I will breathe in the scent of salt air
and savor the bread pudding
Soaking up the sweet spirit of your soul
That has nurtured and given me permission to be
Worthy of the deep, delicious connection with my soul.

Life is so Rich
I can barely contain myself!

(The picture is of my mother with her 3 daughters)

The Magic of BACH FLOWER ESSENCES

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“Healer” oil on canvas

 

I discovered the amazing magical energies of the Flower Essences several years ago when I was looking for some relief from emotions related to patterns of thought that caused fear, worry and anxiety within me. I had been worrying about my oldest son since he was a baby. I thought maybe it was normal to worry and be fearful for his wellbeing…the mother disease. While he definitely inspired more reasons later on in his life to make me worry, I realized with my other two sons that the chronic worry I had developed with the first son, was not nearly as acute with them.

So in a quest to find a natural way to bring harmony and balance for both myself and my son, I came upon the flowers! I couldn’t believe that it took so long for Life to bring them to me. I have been painting the ‘essence’ of flowers for 20 years or more, and then they came to me in the form of miracle drops. Some people think that they are essential oils or aromatherapy, but they are more like homeopathy, that you take internally. They could be qualified as vibrational medicine, which is completely natural and safe and can be used as a complementary treatment. As I studied more about them and learned the philosophy of the creator of the essences, Dr. Edward Bach, I was hooked. I wanted to know more. So I immersed myself in the information available and invested in a kit of all the 38 remedies and started treating myself, my family and friends. Eventually, through word of mouth, more people asked for consultations and now the ‘practice’ has evolved to include an integrative healing session with the Flowers, using guidance through the Akashic Records, and Reiki. I have always loved to support people in their process of healing and awakening to their true self. Now I have a creative and beautiful way to enter into sacred space with others and offer them a way to find some relief from life’s many stressors.

The Bach Flowers are very specific in treating different aspects of disharmony that plague the human mind. The remedy that offered me relief from the chronic worry for my son was Red Chestnut. Mimulus helped me work through fears, particularly of public speaking, combined with Larch for confidence. I offered pine to my youngest son, as he was always feeling responsible for anything the went wrong, even if he had nothing to do with it. Pine is for self-blame and offers the ability to feel more self-compassion. The flowers work on the subtle vibrational body, by flooding the ‘virtuous’ qualities into the energy field of the person and gently shifting the pattern into one that is in harmony and alignment with the True Self, our Soul. The process can be gradual but profound as it was for me. Sometimes it is dramatic and immediate. The effects can be long lasting and permanent. They also can cure the chronic pattern, even though you may occasionally feel worry for instance, but in a more situational way.

So what I offer with my clients is a consultation and healing experience that helps us to determine the perfect mix of flowers to support them in shifting into an experience with life that offers more joy, ease, freedom, purpose, authenticity, peace, creativity. The possibilities for what alignment looks like for one is endless and so exciting. Like the Soul Portrait, the unfolding through Divine guidance and deep compassion, is utterly creative and magical.

Please give me a call if you are interested in experiencing this magical transformation!

~beki

Www.bekiart.com

SOUL Portraits for Others

 

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Now that you know the origins of my first Soul portrait, I would like to share with you the evolution of this approach to my art and the manifestations of Soul Portraits that are painted while intentionally opening the Akashic Record of the individual for the purpose of bringing forth an image that reflects the essence of their Soul. It is so powerful to go beyond the form that we have identified with and for most of us have become attached to as an expression of who we really are.

The Soul portrait, in a sense, frees us from this limited self perception and takes us beyond our prejudices and cultural, societal conditioning. Each portrait is uniquely created and inspired by your Soul through me. I am the channel, the vehicle through which this visual communication flows. I am utterly amazed, humbled and delighted by what emerges on the canvas. I am deeply honored and aware of the sacred journey I am on as I move into this Divine Realm of the Akashic Field. Each experience with the process is unique and the sensation in my body as well as my approach to creating the piece is distinctly different with each portrait. I have no idea what will emerge. I am curious that not one has come forth as completely abstract, yet, although I suspect it may at some point.

What I do feel certain of is that what comes forth is purely Divine in nature and is specifically for the one that I am painting it for. The message that their Soul desires to offer them comes through in the perfect way in which it will speak intimately to them. It’s offering will be ongoing and layered as one lives with the portrait, as it is vibrational in nature and will take one beyond the visual, while using the tangibility of the image at the same time, to transform and awaken.

I am sharing with you some samples of the Soul Portraits that I also have published on my website with pictures of the human version of them along with a statement by them about their experience with the Soul Portrait. Included is my Soul self-portrait that I was instructed to create, while in my own Akashic Records, as my first assignment for beginning this work for others. I received this ‘idea’ and guidance by my own Masters through the Records, while in session with my wonderful and deeply tuned-in healer and mentor, Chrys Franks.

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If you think you would be interested in having your Soul painted in this profound way, please email me or give me a call for more information.
Bekicrowell@hotmail.com
843~460~4077