Weathering Flo

Interestingly, just one year ago I posted a blog about navigating Hurricane Irma. Now my muse is Flo, and she inspired this expression of my inner contemplation. We keep getting the opportunity to face life’s challenges and to see how we have evolved. 

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Painting: The Vortex, oil on canvas by Beki

Sept. 16, 2018

Years ago I stopped watching TV and especially avoided mainstream news sources. My choice to do so was a response to my own Inner Guidance System (IGS) that is always sending signals of what actions to take and decisions to make. It is tailored for me. Indicators are offered by how I feel and the only way I can get an accurate read, is by removing myself from the outside hurricane, and enter into the stillness and quiet of my own inner connection to the Divine. Long ago, my IGS sent me the message that I was to remove myself from the outer storm in order for me to find the Eye/I of my inner being, which is Peace.

I trust that I will receive the information I need to make an aligned and wise decision, without entering the fray of media and its unsavory approach to sensationalizing the facts and science with way too much extraneous data. The media is emotionally manipulative and I simply do not want to put myself through that mental/emotional storm, especially in the middle of a literal one!

Hurricane Flo(rence)just passed us by. She whirled and danced out at sea for many many days and the mental storm began as the reporters and politicians built up the emotional drama that obscured so many of us from the simple facts of an unfolding track of when and where the storm would hit the Southeastern coast of the United States. As a resident of Charleston, SC, I am accustomed to the threats of hurricanes, and we often sit and observe the possibilities of the forces of nature heading our way, like the slave ships from the middle passage. I always feel this eery awareness of the track these hurricanes take, following a profoundly painful storm of emotion from captive African people past, traversing the Atlantic, not knowing what lied ahead. Could it be that these wild and powerful winds that take this path, are cleansing the auric field of the waters of our earth, to release the pain and trauma held in this part of the body of our great Mother?

As a vibrational healer, that uses the healing modality of Reiki, a form of healing touch, to help shift blocked energy in the body of the client, I have experienced how people store trauma in different parts of their physical and etheric bodies. The energy needs to be moved, shaken up, acknowledged, and felt, so that is can be released, transmuted, transformed. Could it be that the winds of nature are cleansing the blocked energies that are held in the earth and in the consciousness of humanity?

What I am most interested in contemplating right now, is how we can weather the emotional mental storms that come our way. How do we navigate the assaults that seem to come from outside of us and we have no control of? How do we find the peace in the chaos, and find our inner Eye/I of the hurricane?

Charleston was virtually untouched by the physical storm for the most part. A mandatory evacuation was ordered on Monday September 10th, which truly was too soon to really predict the path of Florence. Today it is Sunday, almost a week later, and we have barely gotten any rain. Hysteria began and the inner storm in the minds of the people on the coast raged, especially as they sat in front of TVs for hours of non-stop coverage, that espoused emotional language that would undoubtedly incite fear. Words like a “Beast of a storm’, ‘ a monster’, ‘the storm of a lifetime.’ I got glimpses of the onslaught. I retreated the best I could, and attempted to meditate, and listen to the Divine Guidance within me that never steers me wrong. It was challenging, but I managed pretty good, to still feel the Peace of my soul. I consulted sources that were offering information without the drama, so that we could make decisions based on fact, and not the fear-based emotions that whirled around me.

The dance of Flo was unpredictable and as it is with most forces of nature, she reminded us that we are really not in control. We can do our best to try to predict and control the world around us, but the deeper lesson for me from Flo is that I best learn to go with the flow, or I will be whirling around in a mental storm that robs me of the very Peace that I AM. Flo is a reminder of how we are always navigating these mental storms and that with intention and consciousness, we can commit to the Peace that resides at the center of all hurricanes. The peace that resides at the center of our own being. If we cultivate this commitment to Inner Peace then when we embark out into the whirling chaos of the world, we can bring this powerful force of Divine nature with us, and we can indeed have a positive influence on the climate around us.

I am grateful for Flo, and all the hurricanes of life, that prompt me to practice Peace with deep intention and focus. I am grateful that I did not need to experience the Eye of Flo this time but received her gift in a gentle way. Each of us affected by the presence of Flo whirling towards our coast, had our own personal experience. Some lives were impacted in very profound and tangible ways, with physical loss involved. More of us were pulled into the mental and emotional storm to weather in our own way.

How did you weather the storm? Can you see the gift she left at your doorstep? How will you BE the next time you encounter a storm, whether it is literal of metaphorical? I encourage you to seize this opportunity to contemplate these questions, so that you may ride the wave of the alchemy that is offered by all of life’s challenges.

In Love and Oneness and deep gratitude,

Beki

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DAD and the Quest for Beauty

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I wrote this piece the morning of the afternoon that I received a call from Nana, my stepmother, letting me know that Dad’s health had taken a turn for the worse, and that I better get to Canada to see him right away. I had reservations to go in 2 weeks. Thankfully I boarded a plane the next morning and had five days of heart-wrenching, tender, sweet, blessed, and at times hilarious, moments with my beloved father. This past Monday, July 23, 2018, my dad took flight and left the body that housed the beautiful Soul of my Dad. I share this in honor of him, with deep gratitude and love, and a heart broken . . . Wide OPEN.

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Dad loves to walk through nature with binoculars, not just as he climbs mountains to see far off vistas. But also, he takes them on walks through his own neighborhood, so that he can see a perspective of beauty that cannot be seen with his bare eyes. He reaches for the beauty beneath the surface of an emblazoned Fall leaf, fallen to the ground, the varied tones of color on lilies lining his house, a bee crawling deep into a bloom, the reflections of trees in the serene waves of a lake. He would be in awe at this deeper beauty that many of us pass by, unaware of what lies beneath the surface of what we see. Dad enthusiastically shares his appreciation, handing over the binoculars so I can see what he sees.

I am a visual artist, who uses paint to express a world beyond sight. I interpret the beauty of the Divine, Souls, Spirit that vibrates within and beyond this tangible world, we behold. I reach beyond what I see and I feeeeeeel this dimension of boundless Love and infinite possibilities, and I use color, shape, movement, and insight, inner sight, to express the beauty beneath and beyond the surface. I paint the essence beyond the form, of flowers and fauna. I paint the Soul, embodied by humanity, and the human enlivened by the soul.

My dad’s love of beauty, his appreciation for the deliciousness of life and his passion for the wellbeing of all people and this beloved planet, undoubtedly inspired this deep passion within me as well. This passion has blossomed into my own unique expression, through art, vibrational healing and sacred activism that aims to uncover the buried parts of another, so they can be revealed to their own bare beauty, their unique genius and gift to us all. I peer through my metaphorical binoculars and enthusiastically tell them what I see, that they cannot see, about the beauty and perfection of them.

My Dad is a passionate lover of Beauty, of Life, of humanity, of family, of the great Mother Earth. His activism is fueled by this Love. This is the way God lives and expresses Itself through my father. Through his love, felt and expressed in his own unique way, he has changed the world. He has brought more Beauty to the surface, so more of us can see and feel it with bare eyes. Dad has tirelessly toiled to raise consciousness and offer solutions to raise humanity to a place where poverty and hunger no longer hinder us from knowing the Beauty of being human.

By first seeing the pain and injustice, the flaws in the systems of society, he reaches, as I do, to unearth the Beauty of humanity and the absolute brilliance of the planet we inhabit, to inspire a deep desire for change. How can we make this world a better place for all humans, for all sentient beings, honoring the earth and recognizing the interconnection of all life?

My father, in his own unique way, has shown me this truth. The truth of Beauty beyond our wildest imagination, and the sobering reality that too many of us can’t see it. So in honor of my Dad and his beautiful, bold and brilliant spirit, let’s all get out our binoculars and commit to seeing the Beauty above and beyond, and live our lives in sacred service to sustaining and honoring this Bare Beauty in ourselves, others and in the beloved Mother that sustains us all!

 

BEAUTY that Lies Beneath the Surface
Reach into the truth of Beauty and you will
see and feel
the beauty that lies at the core of EVERYTHING

The cleansing waters within the tears of anguish
The joy underneath the sorrow
The love at the core of grief

The wisdom born of failure
The baby born from pain
Compassion felt from knowing suffering

Deep rest inspired by a sick body
Passion and purpose awakened
in the midst of the unacceptable

Liberation and reunion within the dying body
Life at the core of death.
Eternal life beyond the physical

Peace in the center of the storm
Joy in the midst of sorrow
Laughter in the middle of loss.

Wholeness at the deepest core of the most wounded and broken of us
Oneness in a world of individuals

Beauty is everywhere
Within everything and engulfing it ALL
It takes faith
Imagination
and vision to know the Truth of the
Beauty you cannot see

But if you have the desire and the intention
I promise you,
the miracle of Beauty
will reveal itself to you
and your inner sight will be reflected in your outer vision
and together we will transform the world!

I love you, Daddy! Fly high!

The Inner Hurricane

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‘Eye of the Storm” oil on canvas, Beki

This has week has been utterly exhausting emotionally and mentally, as we and many more in the Caribbean, Florida and the South Eastern US have been watching the strongest biggest storm on record to plough its way through the waters crushing islands and threatening our safety, stuff and peace of mind.

Peace of mind is what I really want to address here. How do we cultivate an aptitude to inner peace, so that when life’s hurricanes, literally or figuratively, threaten our wellbeing, we are able to respond from peace rather than fear? Today is 9/11, an infamous day here in the US when the Twin Towers in New York City were reduced to rubble after 2 planes intentionally flew into them. It was shocking and devastating and rocked the sense of security Americans had felt in regards to such attacks. It shattered a collective sense of comfort and maybe a false peace of mind. 911 are the number we dial to call for HELP.

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How can we dial directly to the help that taps into the peace of mind that allows us to weather any storm that life delivers to us? Yesterday, in the midst of this whole experience of preparing for Hurricane Irma that was slowly turning west away from us, revealing that the personal threat to our town and home would be minimal, I grappled with my own inner storm. I woke up at 3 am to find my two sons and nephew ‘mesmerized’ in playing computer games together. It triggered a mini storm in my head that I seemed incapable of quelling. My initial internal venting entailed feelings of anger, indignation, irritation, hopelessness for humanity and the obsession with these glowing screens that give us this false sense of connection with each other, but actually rob us of the connection with the organic world of human contact and the beautiful earth we inhabit. Yes I went there! As a mother of 3 sons I have grappled with this feeling of frustration around the whole issue of video games and such for 20 years. It has definitely been one of those reoccurring concerns/thorns that has contributed to taking away my Inner Peace, uncountable times. Needless to say, the inner storm amidst the outer storm robbed me of much needed sleep.

I don’t want to focus so much on the issue of glowing screens here. What I am really interested in is the inner storms that can be triggered by thousands of stressful thoughts. Usually the thought is aligned with fear. Certainly the discomfort felt in preparing for a hurricane and watching the media coverage around the storm has the potential to cause as much angst as riding out the storm itself. It is the projection of a devastating future, fear future, that grips us. With the modern conveniences of glowing screens 24 hours a day, we have this thought that somehow we can control the outcomes by listening to the confusing, mixed messages offered, whether it is about the weather or diseases or politics. We cling to the messages hoping they will provide us with the guidance that will solve the problems that face humanity. Secretly we wish for the guidance to quell the storm in our mind, possibly even more than the condition that is causing it. Of course the true guidance we seek can only be found in the silencing of the fear-based chatter and to go to the True Source of all solutions.

Suffering stems from the thoughts, not the reality. I have suffered on and off this past week as we navigated the information about this outer storm. There were times I was able to consciously focus on peace and stayed away from the media as much as possible, but still would catch wind of fearful frequencies. Well, how could I miss them. The frequencies of the fear blew as strong as Irma’s winds. We are challenged to find a way to the inner peace, the ‘I’ of the storm, that is serene amongst the mayhem of life. This is the greatest challenge of the times, I feel. The distractions are unbelievable! How can we cultivate this Inner Peace instead of feed the fire of the Inner Storm?

While I do not know what the ultimate answer is for that question, I do know that I am on a journey of answering that for myself. Each of us needs to find our own way. It is the awareness and intention that is the first step. As we become aware of the source of our inner storm as the thoughts we think, then we realize that we can intentionally redirect the thoughts. What activity or practice can support you in redirecting thoughts? I walk in nature. I write, I paint. Sometimes meditation helps. Going to sleep is miraculous. What calms your storm? What nurtures the scared inner child? What soothes you back into alignment with the Source of your True Self?

peacePeace’, oil on canvas, by Beki

When I align with Love, with the Divine, with my Inner Being, the unlimited, eternal Self I feel a deep joyful peace. When I feel this peace, I do not feel fear. The two emotions cannot abide together. I recently heard a zen monk say, ” To be fearless really is actually being peaceful.” Unconditional Love is really being able to stay aligned with Love regardless of the conditions. Unconditional Peace, Joy, Love. This is the practice that brings freedom.

When I am able to live more and more from this cultivated, intentional place of unconditional Love, Peace and Joy then not only do I benefit from this freedom, but I have a chance to affect Peace in the world around me, one person at a time. My very presence will then have the potential to quell the storm within another, and another and another.

 

 

Mother Soul

SAMSUNG DIGIMAX 420

 

The following is a beautiful transmission offered to me by my Divine Guidance while I am in my own Akashic Records. Often I open my records and then ask a question to the Masters, Teachers and Loved Ones and then ‘channel’ the answer by writing in my journal. This has been a wonderful and enlightening practice that I have been doing for many years now. It has been very helpful in accessing a deeper wisdom that really is at the core of my being. My Guides work with me to unveil my own knowing. For this I am very grateful. Yesterday was Mother’s Day 2016. This is how I began my day. Sitting on my back porch surrounded by my personal garden paradise, I take a moment to meditate and then open the Akashic Records.

Me: I am feeling an underlying sadness. Not sure what it is all about. Woke up with a little pang of anxiety, something I have not felt in a really long time. I would appreciate your help so I can get some clarity.

MTLO (Masters, Teachers, Loved Ones): Blessings dear child. You are entering a phase of deep remembering. You are holding the heart of mother’s in yours. It is heavy with both sorrow and love. Mother’s weep everywhere for the awakening of this planet’s inhabitants. The Mother Earth holds you all with deep love and care and yet she is incensed by your wild adolescent disregard, your narcissism that renders her lands disrespected.

She is shedding the old you, like the lizard, green like spring leaves, sheds it old skin. She is shaking you up, opening your hearts and piercing the shield that has inebriated your mind, keeping you from recognizing your Soul.

Your Great Mother loves you Unconditionally and embraces the essence of humanity in her massive brown body, weighed down by the waters of her deep blue sea of tears.
She will not forsake you in your childish tantrums, but she will coax you awake with her winds and fires and trembling lands. And if you continue your flailing and screaming your rants of fear, separation, possessiveness, she will erupt mountain tops to bring you back to your senses.

You sense the mother that weeps for her children, as you carry the imprint of the mother gene in every living cell of your body. You know and feel the aching of the earth and your human sisters that yearn for your children to Awaken to the Love that they are. You know the deep desire that the Mother holds to feed her children all that nourishes their bodies, minds and souls.

The Mother Soul you inhabit is not just the human individual self that strives to balance this sacred role on earth, but she is the collective Soul that sits in the core of the earth and is born of the Divine Feminine.

This Mother Soul is wild and sensual, fierce and determined. She is soft and nurturing, steady and committed. She is utterly creative and her strength is unrivaled in the Universe.

Today on this day that the Mother is honored, you feel her Heart in your heart and your desire to weep is the yearning to release all the fullness that overflows the great breadth of her loving chalice.

Your own vessel cannot hold the massiveness of love and gratitude that you feel for the Mother Soul. It cannot contain the tendrils of her Love that reach out like roots extending to the core of the earth.

You yourself born of mother, belong to the mother, just as you are mother yourself. The intricate web of love embodied by the Divine Feminine courses through your veins and roots you to her heart.

Surrender to her, for she will nurture you and guide you and prepare you for your flight. Let go and trust, for she is the bridge between the Unlimited Divine and the brilliant flesh of life. She will show you how to live on earth embodied by your Soul. She will show you the Divine, living within the manifested world.

And when you surrender to her love, her wisdom, you will at last, be free!

Happy Mother’s Day beautiful Soul Mother. We honor and celebrate you in all ways!

PEACE AND PASSION

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For my 40th birthday, Sherman, my husband, gave me the best gift ever. He designed and self published a book of my art. I had been saying I needed to do this for years. I had many of my paintings already photographed. He managed to do it without me knowing. I was shocked and moved and very grateful. I was able to go back into the program he created it in and edit the book, as he knew I would want to. I added poetry and paintings, and yet the original was beautiful and complete unto itself.

The title of the book is Peace and Passion. I feel like those two words truly encompass the essence of my art as well as my personal approach to life. Not so long ago I wrote this poem:

Peace and Passion

I am passionate about Peace
it is the essence of what I desire more than anything else…
the sensation of peace

Peace is a passionate place
that resides deep
in the red hot crevices
of my heart

It is soothing
and sensuous
It is sexy and expansive
It is ecstasy
and the deep sleep
that follows a passionate
release.

It is the place
felt
after resistance
yields
to surrender.

It is commitment
to the innermost
intimate place
that when we touch it
we open to
the most ecstatic
passionate

F R E E D O M

Passion without Peace
is an amputation
a limb without the body to
ground it

into the lush
yummy
silence

Passion without Peace
is flight
endless flight
without a place to land
when the wings are weary.

Passion is Peace
the expression of all that Peace knows
They are the yin and the yang of each other

I choose Peace
first
and then may the wings of Passion
carry me
into the unknown realms
that Peace would have me know

then….
may Passion
open me
render me helpless
to control its joy
its vast, endless, bottomless pit
of Love….expressed

May Peace surrender me to Passion
and may Passion
open my heart
fearlessly to
All that Is

All
that
Is!

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Compassion

IMG_2584This is an excerpt from my unpublished book, a spiritual memoir about Awakening.

Compassion is a feeling, an e-motion that moves us into connection with another that is suffering. Compassion dares to wade in the water of pain to touch the one who is submersed, unsure of whether she will drown. It caresses her and sits with her in the watery depths of despair, breathing enough oxygen for both of them, being mindful to keep its head above the water. Compassion is fearless in its willingness to be present in the pain that so often elicits humanity to its threshold. It knows its connection to Divine sustenance, and takes that knowing with it when it enters the frays of human disconnection. It leans into the dark hole of forgetfulness, connecting to its own humanness to connect the one who weeps, to the world of infinite love and wisdom. Compassion sits comfortably with the sadness and holds gently the bereaved. It opens human heart to hold the fullness of her sweet pain and transforms it into the Love that it truly is.

Compassion is the human expression of Divine Love. It is the delicious connection to humanity and sensation. It is the flesh of love that binds us to each other. It offers the visceral awareness that we are truly One.

The challenge with compassion arises when we unconsciously choose compassion over alignment with Source/Self. While compassion delivers us to the heart and soul of human connection, if we are not awake in our empathy, we may drown in a perception of another’s pain forgetting not only their intrinsic wellbeing that lies at the core of all beings, but we may be swept away in the current of another’s disconnection, risking our own stability which is often the very thing necessary to support the other in their resurfacing and realignment with their True Self. We must temper our propensity to dive into the depths of someone else’s despair when our nature leans towards compassion, and remember to keep our head above water.

I notice when I am feeling lost and unaligned that the peaceful strong energy of my mother, my husband, a friend, is much more comforting than someone who commiserates with me in my story of pain. Yet, I do not want them to pull me out of my emotions with the likes of a cheerleader on the sidelines coaxing me to joy, prematurely. I am grateful when they step into the space where I am, with their love and reverence for the process I am experiencing, honoring my pain, but not joining it. I am grateful when they sit quietly as I weep and I can feel their strong knowing that I am well, that I will feel well again, even when it seems impossible to me in that moment.

I choose to cultivate within me, this perfect blend between the compassion that dares to lean into the heart of human suffering and the mindfulness of staying awake and connected while reaching into this space of dark beauty, staying grounded in knowing the wellbeing of the other and of myself. I choose to be intimate with life, with my human nature, and I choose to be fierce in my commitment to alignment with my Divine nature. As I continue the practice of Unconditional Love, that knows love in all conditions, I am confident that my ability to remain in alignment while compassionately connecting with another who is not, will grow and blossom.

Rich Mother

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Rich mother
With very little money
Rich
Regardless of the condition of money being present.

Like unconditional love
Love,
Regardless of the conditions that are present.

A mother who taught me what it is to be rich
With or without the tangible manifestation of
Money.

She teases about going to the ‘Ocean Course’,
When I am taking care of her
When she becomes to…something…to take care of herself.
We laugh that I may put her on a budget and
That the extravagance of the plush beach resort restaurant
Will be too much for me to afford for her.

My heart smiles
And I think what a joy, pleasure and honor it would be to
Take her to her favorite place that feeds her soul
with food drenched in island sun
and an eyeful of sea-full splendor.

To be rich is to know you are worthy
Of such beauty
Such art
Regardless of how much money you have in your wallet or bank account.

To be rich is to live in a humble dwelling
and make it into a royal palace
of sacred opulent beauty
Infused with the divine
Emanating from objects reflecting consciousness
Art on every wall
Paintings by her
By me
By her grandson.

To be rich is to wake up each morning in this beautiful
Warm glow of spirit
Surrounding
Enveloping
And oozing from
you
Her
me.

To be rich is to know how to live Unconditional Love
To Love without condition
aware of
Connected to
The Divine Love
That we all are
No matter what shows up in our experience.

Opulence beyond your imagination
Living from the very core of your Soul
Where we are in communion with the realm of the Divine,
The Infinite Field of Possibility and Unconditional Love.

This is the rich soil
From which my being originates
In the dark soil of the Great Mother
and the sweet awakening spirit
Of the earth mother
Who knew her worth at a core level
Even when she was not aware of it.

So yes
My sweet matriarch, crone and wise woman
I will take you to the beautiful place that makes your heart sing
And I will breathe in the scent of salt air
and savor the bread pudding
Soaking up the sweet spirit of your soul
That has nurtured and given me permission to be
Worthy of the deep, delicious connection with my soul.

Life is so Rich
I can barely contain myself!

(The picture is of my mother with her 3 daughters)