DAD and the Quest for Beauty

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I wrote this piece the morning of the afternoon that I received a call from Nana, my stepmother, letting me know that Dad’s health had taken a turn for the worse, and that I better get to Canada to see him right away. I had reservations to go in 2 weeks. Thankfully I boarded a plane the next morning and had five days of heart-wrenching, tender, sweet, blessed, and at times hilarious, moments with my beloved father. This past Monday, July 23, 2018, my dad took flight and left the body that housed the beautiful Soul of my Dad. I share this in honor of him, with deep gratitude and love, and a heartbroken . . . Wide OPEN.

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Dad loves to walk through nature with binoculars, not just as he climbs mountains to see far off vistas. But also, he takes them on walks through his own neighborhood, so that he can see a perspective of beauty that cannot be seen with his bare eyes. He reaches for the beauty beneath the surface of an emblazoned Fall leaf, fallen to the ground, the varied tones of color on lilies lining his house, a bee crawling deep into a bloom, the reflections of trees in the serene waves of a lake. He would be in awe at this deeper beauty that many of us pass by, unaware of what lies beneath the surface of what we see. Dad enthusiastically shares his appreciation, handing over the binoculars so I can see what he sees.

I am a visual artist, who uses paint to express a world beyond sight. I interpret the beauty of the Divine, Souls, Spirit that vibrates within and beyond this tangible world, we behold. I reach beyond what I see and I feeeeeeel this dimension of boundless Love and infinite possibilities, and I use color, shape, movement, and insight, inner sight, to express the beauty beneath and beyond the surface. I paint the essence beyond the form, of flowers and fauna. I paint the Soul, embodied by humanity, and the human enlivened by the soul.

My dad’s love of beauty, his appreciation for the deliciousness of life and his passion for the wellbeing of all people and this beloved planet, undoubtedly inspired this deep passion within me as well. This passion has blossomed into my own unique expression, through art, vibrational healing and sacred activism that aims to uncover the buried parts of another, so they can be revealed to their own bare beauty, their unique genius and gift to us all. I peer through my metaphorical binoculars and enthusiastically tell them what I see, that they cannot see, about the beauty and perfection of them.

My Dad is a passionate lover of Beauty, of Life, of humanity, of family, of the great Mother Earth. His activism is fueled by this Love. This is the way God lives and expresses Itself through my father. Through his love, felt and expressed in his own unique way, he has changed the world. He has brought more Beauty to the surface, so more of us can see and feel it with bare eyes. Dad has tirelessly toiled to raise consciousness and offer solutions to raise humanity to a place where poverty and hunger no longer hinder us from knowing the Beauty of being human.

By first seeing the pain and injustice, the flaws in the systems of society, he reaches, as I do, to unearth the Beauty of humanity and the absolute brilliance of the planet we inhabit, to inspire a deep desire for change. How can we make this world a better place for all humans, for all sentient beings, honoring the earth and recognizing the interconnection of all life?

My father, in his own unique way, has shown me this truth. The truth of Beauty beyond our wildest imagination, and the sobering reality that too many of us can’t see it. So in honor of my Dad and his beautiful, bold and brilliant spirit, let’s all get out our binoculars and commit to seeing the Beauty above and beyond, and live our lives in sacred service to sustaining and honoring this Bare Beauty in ourselves, others and in the beloved Mother that sustains us all!

 

BEAUTY that Lies Beneath the Surface
Reach into the truth of Beauty and you will
see and feel
the beauty that lies at the core of EVERYTHING

The cleansing waters within the tears of anguish
The joy underneath the sorrow
The love at the core of grief

The wisdom born of failure
The baby born from pain
Compassion felt from knowing suffering

Deep rest inspired by a sick body
Passion and purpose awakened
in the midst of the unacceptable

Liberation and reunion within the dying body
Life at the core of death.
Eternal life beyond the physical

Peace in the center of the storm
Joy in the midst of sorrow
Laughter in the middle of loss.

Wholeness at the deepest core of the most wounded and broken of us
Oneness in a world of individuals

Beauty is everywhere
Within everything and engulfing it ALL
It takes faith
Imagination
and vision to know the Truth of the
Beauty you cannot see

But if you have the desire and the intention
I promise you,
the miracle of Beauty
will reveal itself to you
and your inner sight will be reflected in your outer vision
and together we will transform the world!

I love you, Daddy! Fly high!

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Miracles and Magic

Z-Awakend

Written 9/26/2016

I experienced a miracle two days ago. I was frantically rushing to prepare breakfast for my friends for our Monday morning (spiritual) Awakening meeting. I made a beautiful frittata, put it in the oven and with 10 minutes to spare, jumped in the shower to get myself ready for the day. I had spent too much time cleaning the porch for our meeting, and was not as peaceful in my approach to my day as I would have liked. Oh well. No big deal. Bradely was there when I came out of my room, because I left the door unlocked. I took the frittata out of the oven and started getting some other little things together as I chatted with Bradely. Without thinking about it I turned around to move the skillet over and grabbed the scorching hot, straight-out-the-oven skillet. The searing pain was immediate and I screamed and ran to my room to get the cream for the burn. My entire palm and fingertips burned like crazy. I felt the awareness of the possible severity of the burn and the limitations it would create in my life while it was healing. I also felt a flash of gratitude that it was my left hand, as I am right handed and I think about my writing and painting hand as a sacred tool for my life purpose. I lathered the cream on my hand as tears rolled down my face.

The intensity of pain was consuming. The presence of Bradley and Sherman (my husband), who was awakened by my scream, was comforting, and yet it felt like they were a foggy haze barely audible as my immediate attention was riveted by the burning sensation. My whole hand was beet red. I could not sit still and so I left my room and them and paced around for a moment and then walked out to the back porch and sat down on a soft chair and closed my eyes and began to offer myself Reiki. I pulled in the Divine Light through my crown chakra and I asked for help. I became as focused as I was when I was in labour with my second son. I did not resist the intensity of sensation by entertaining all those insidious thoughts that would have me feeling fear, limitation, self pity. I just stayed focused on the energy that I was allowing to flow through me for my healing. It occurred to me that I may have to go to my room to maintain this focus and leave my friends to meet without me, but as I held my intention, I noticed some relief, in waves. I would have moments when I felt almost normal, and then the intensity would flood my hand like a wave washing back up on shore. But it was moving and shifting and not a steady stream of unbearable sensation. This was encouraging.

There was one moment when my dear friend, Sarita, came out to check on me and after I told her I would just sit there and focus on sending my hand energy, she said with compassion, ‘I am so sorry’. For a flash moment, I teared up and felt sorry for myself, and somehow after half a lifetime of practicing to watch my thoughts and how they make me feel, I was able to shift my attention back on the healing energy that was flowing through me to my hand. Interesting. I shared that moment with them later and expressed how tricky it is to be present and compassion and empathetic for another who is experiencing pain, physical or emotional, without enabling them to stay in it. So often I have wanted another to baby me and comfort me in my condition of pain and suffering. How can we offer acknowledgement and support to another and stay with them where they are without becoming a distraction from them knowing their wellbeing and the potential for their healing? If we give the condition too much attention, are we not helping them to make it more real and solid? How do we lead them into the quantum field of infinite potential and hold the vibration of knowing in the wellbeing that is vibrating in this real realm of reality that we simply cannot see? That was quite an epiphany for me to realize and a divine lesson from this experience that I am certain is a major part of why it manifested in my experience. Pain is a human experience that is inevitable to come and go in our lives, but suffering is always optional. Gratefully, I chose not to suffer this time.

So, as they chatted cheerfully inside the house, cutting up the tomato and the honeydew melon, as they would on any other Monday, I was grateful that they were all going along as usual. It gave me the time and focus I needed to send Reiki with intention, in the silence and the healing energy of nature. The natural air and gentle breeze comforted me. I continued to ride the waves of sensation without entertaining much thought other than the simple intention to send and receive Divine Love and energy into my hand and my heart.

When Reshuet, came out on the porch with her food, I was happy to have them join me at that point. I was able to be a part of the meeting, even though at the beginning I felt like I was in an altered state. So they ate the delicious frittata responsible for my …condition… and we began to share as I stayed focused on continuing to send energy. For the 3 hours, I was able to sit with them and hold the focus which offered the perfect blend of distraction and intention. You see this group of people and I (except for my mom who was not present that day) have been meeting for 3 years for 3 hours or more every Monday with the pure intention to support ourselves and each other in our process of Spiritual Awakening. So what better environment to be in for this intensive process of healing. We have cultivated a vibration of intention and an awakened mind as a group, that was the perfect support I needed to stay in Love and not fear. I believe this is an essential ingredient in accessing the frequency that heals.

Throughout that time I noticed the redness diminishing considerably in different areas of the hand. I was able to see and feel the most intense spots on the hand where the burn was. In the cradle of my grip between the thumb and pointer finger was most painful and the other three fingertips were the most red and sensitive. All those spots looked as thought some blistering may be forming, but as I sat there, the hand began to morph. By the end of the meeting I showed them my hand. It was truly a miracle that perhaps only I will truly know and realize the significance of. Having been burned in the past I know the potential route that burns take. The painful sensations tend to linger for days and the blistering, the peeling, the redness and rawness can last for days and weeks even. I would have to avoid water and all the many activities involving water would be a challenge. I certainly would not be typing, as I am now. You know what I mean. It would offer a whole different lesson, from the one I am experiencing now.

They all could see the improvement, especially Bradely who got a good look at it in the beginning. I was pretty excited, because not only did it look good, it felt good. The burning sensation and sensitivity to the worst spots rapidly improved as I tested them by touching them. It was truly a miracle. I have never experienced anything like that! While the skin was looking better and better throughout the day, it was still a bit tender and I was wiped out. Exhausted, I took a nap. It was my nephew’s birthday and we had planned to meet them for dinner, so I rallied and went, and while I was still protective of the hand that felt like it was healing from the outside in, I was able to enjoy the evening.

By the next day my hand was completely healed. I was able to do all the things I normally do. I showered, washed some dishes, worked in my shop that was fairly busy, I typed.
The only things that I did other than the Reiki to help heal my hand, was to apply the burn cream a couple times, sip on a glass of water with Rescue Remedy in it (flower essence 5 flower blend for trauma) and for maybe 5 minutes I put some ice on it. I never like icing because of the pain I feel when I take it off.

I know for a fact that the source of my healing is primarily the intention and focus I held in order to allow the Reiki energy to flow through and to me. It was the giving and receiving of Divine Love. It was accessing the quantum realm of infinite possibility. It was supported by an environment and community that is able to access this consciousness as well. I also know that the Divine in me, the Soul of my being, and the spirit guides who have been working with me on my accelerated course for healing work with others, offered me this Divine gift to know this truth, through personal experience. If there was any doubt of the efficacy of healing touch through Reiki coupled with focus of intention, than it has been erased. For this I am deeply grateful. No more red hot holy lessons for now, please! I got it. Thank you.

Afterward:

Often healing is not this rapid. Most of the time it is a gradual process and I think this is because some conditions take much longer to become manifested in our bodies. It can be years and maybe even lifetimes that a condition has been developing. The body or mind then erupts with a disease or emotional state that seems to have come out of no where, but in reality it has been developing for quite some time and maybe we have ignored the earlier indicators of being out of alignment. I believe that always the condition is part of our process of awakening. It offers us the opportunity to awaken to something essential, even if it does not mean staying in the body.

An acute condition such as mine with the burn, could have been a disaster, but was addressed immediately, and was not born of an old chronic pattern of thought, but was offered as an opportunity for me to practice my healing art, my mindfulness, my faith. I give thanks that this divine opportunity was not so dramatic as the one that Dr. Dispenza author of ‘You are the Placebo’ had as a young man when he was hit by a truck while cycling in a triathlon. He broke his spine in several spots and rather than getting the surgery that would require a rod inserted into his spine and a life of chronic pain, he chose to heal himself. That was dramatic and it dramatically affected the trajectory of his life’s work. It became his Divine opportunity.

So wherever we are on this journey of awakening to the power within us to tune in to the Divine Light, the Quantum field, the Source of all creation, God’s healing love and all that it has to offer us, we are all already there in some way, because it is this Energy that we are made of. It is the essence of our being and with awareness, faith and practice, we can access it whenever we desire. This is when miracles happen and the magic of our life will delight us with unending expressions of our Divine nature and our deep sweet connection to all of Life…even when it comes in the form of a blistering burn on the hand to be healed in a miraculous way.

Beki