Coming Out of the Closet

I am making a public declaration of who I am and what my choices have been as a result. Sometimes this is simple and easy to do, especially when it goes along with the acceptable societal narrative of what is right and wrong. In the history of humanity this code of ethics has changed and evolved, thank God. Each time that we, as a collective, face a new consideration as to what we deem acceptable, a crescendo of resistance arises. The status quo pushes up against the pioneering ethics that offer a new way of believing, being, expressing in the world. The status quo hangs on for dear life to its identity, like the little self, the ego, that has come to believe that this is the way of safety and righteousness.

There has been a litany of previously unacceptables that have been transformed. To the generation born into the new perception of ethical values, the old dogma seems barbaric. And yet as the older generations still inhabit the earth so do their archaic beliefs that cling to a dying truth. How can we transform ourselves with the tides of evolution— the unstoppable wave of ‘progress’? We begin with our own personal inquiry. We ask ourselves to dive deep enough to know what is true for us, beyond time and space and popular opinion. We seek our integrity that supersedes the collective ethics and yet adds to its evolving expression of what is now acceptable to the whole.

We are in a portal of transformation right now. We are being asked to assess who we are, what we believe, what serves us and the whole, and what does not. The paradigm of life has been shaken by the crises of the current moment that has been more dramatically exposed than ever before by the saga of Covid. We are reaching the crescendo of this radical shake-up and it is time to choose. What will you choose? How will you move forward? Will you move forward?

My journey began when I was born, just like yours. We can’t help being who we truly are meant to be, even when life seems to be squashing our natural attempts. Life actually is offering us the sharp edge that hones the tool of evolution. With each encounter with this razor-sharp edge, we define more clearly the desires of our true self-expression. Sometimes this journey takes us on a windy and wild ride into some very dark and lonely places. For the Soul, this is part of the process of alchemy that It has come to experience.

I regress. Back to my journey that led me to this moment of ‘coming out’. When I was 4 or 5 my father wrote about his observations of my ‘independent spirit’, calling me ‘non-conforming Beki’. I read this in some old Christmas letters my dad had written when they were unearthed while my dad was on his death-bed the summer of 2018. It was illuminating and comforting to know that he truly saw me, my essential nature, at such a young age.

Another vivid memory I have was when Dad took us to the doctor. I remember jumping around in the back seat of the car joyfully, Dad pulling me out and taking my hand leading me into the office of Dr. Mock. When I realized they wanted to stick me with the needle, I screamed and pleaded, refusing to pull up my sleeve to bare my arm. With a sneaky and quick move, they pulled down my pants and stuck me in the butt. I felt betrayed and dismayed. How could my wonderful father, that I trusted so much, do such a thing.

Fast forward to my teenage self, visiting my family in Canada during the time I was living with my mother in the Bahamas. Dad suggested I go to the doctor for a check-up. I walked the block or so to the doctor’s office and he told me I needed a shot that I was not up-to-date on. I told him I had a fear, no phobia, of needles. By this point I assumed my fear was irrational, considering that vaccination was a common thing that everyone did. He reassured me it would not hurt and quickly stuck me in my left arm. I said to him that it really wasn’t so bad, and then proceeded to slowly slide off the chair beginning to lose consciousness. The doctor took me into the examination room to lie me down and gave me another injection of adrenaline in my…you guessed it…butt. Funny the things we remember. So much of my childhood I have forgotten. But these two ‘scenes’ are clear as day.

Everyone in my family was aware of my phobia. They also were aware of my low threshold for pain. When I became pregnant at 26 with my first son, we all wondered how I would endure childbirth. I hadn’t had a vaccine since that time I almost passed out. I dreaded the part of prenatal care that would entail getting blood drawn and of course the issue of an epidural was a consideration when thinking about the birthing process. I dove into reading and researching the whole process of being pregnant, wanting to do all I could to ensure a healthy pregnancy and baby and birth. Somehow the blood draws felt less invasive than the idea of an injection of some unknown substance into my body. I was surprised I could handle it although I learned that I needed to be lying down to avoid losing consciousness, literally.

In order to determine who would be my OB, I did a lot of research and ended up deciding on a practice of nurse-midwives. My first appointment to interview the prospective health care practitioner included me asking at least 30 questions to determine if they would fit my criteria! During my pregnancy, I went to a pediatrician to interview her, although I really did not know what I was looking for. I remember reading some forms that I was to sign that would give my consent to vaccinate my newborn. Perhaps most people just sign the forms and do not read the fine print, but after reading the litany of side effects, including brain damage and death, I could not sign it. I figured I would revisit it later and discuss it with my husband. Surely if everyone did this, it must be safe.

It turned out that the woman who taught our childbirth classes was a home-birth midwife and so during these classes, I was exposed to different ways of giving birth, including home birth. This seemed like such a wonderful option, and yet I figured that the responsible thing to do was to at least have my first child in a hospital, even though hospitals were a place I never was comfortable in. When my husband and I went to visit the hospital that I would give birth in, we walked out and I looked over to him and told him that I simply could not do it in there. He sighed and said, ‘Oh Beki, don’t do this to me.’ Remembering that always make me smile. He knew me so well. This realization was not an easy one for either of us to swallow. But in the deepest part of me, I knew this was not the safest place for me to give birth. I knew that in order for me to have the birth I wanted I needed to feel safe.

So, I dove into a whole new process of researching home-birth. I interviewed people that I knew in the community that had chosen this approach. I read statistics and accounts. I gathered the people I wanted to be present at my birth and led an exercise to release our own birth trauma so that no one would bring any unresolved energy into the space during my birthing process. Talking about non-conforming! And this story is just one branch of a very large tree of a life lived outside of the box.

The birth was fast and so beautiful. If I had had to get to the hospital it would have been a very close call. I valiantly breathed, grunted, and screamed through the two hours or so of labor with an amazing team of support holding space for the sacred event to occur. This act of birthing without drugs to numb the pain has been done each moment in all of human history by countless women. Even though I hated pain, something in me knew I could do this. It was the most physically challenging thing my body has ever endured and I felt empowered to know what I was capable of.

As I was healing from the birth we figured we should whisk our beautiful, perfect baby off to the pediatrician. While home-birth was an anomaly, it did not occur to me that we would not go along with the typical medical protocol of well-baby visits. Sherman dressed and bundled up our newborn and took him to his first doctor’s appointment, as I waited at home. When he came home, Sherman’s face was wet with tears. My heart jumped into my throat. What’s wrong?! I exclaimed. He said that the pediatrician was very condescending about our reckless choice to have a home-birth and wanted to admit our son into the hospital because she felt he looked jaundice and was suspicious of some little blisters on the roof of his mouth.

I called our midwife hysterical. She came right over, looked over our baby, and told us he was perfectly healthy. The blisters were from his ravenous nursing that also left painful blisters on my nipples. She also said that his skin color was not unusual for a black baby. She reassured us, but still set up two appointments with other healthcare practitioners who were ‘home-birth-friendly’. A new branch formed on my tree of life, informing a whole new trajectory as to how to tend to the health of my children. We took baby Chaz to his first chiropractic appointment and he got a gentle loving adjustment from Dr. Peter who became our holistic family healthcare provider for the next 25 years. We went to a different pediatrician that treated us all with respect and kindness and reassured us that our son was fine.

I am grateful for this nudge in another direction. I trust in life’s contractions. For this is truly the life force that informs the right and perfect path for each individual. As a result of this redirection, I was brought into a community that took a more holistic approach to health. While I pretty much preferred holistic and alternative approaches versus allopathic methods, I simply had not needed to go to a doctor much in my 26 years of life so I did not know much about my options. When the issue of vaccination came back up and rather than simply going along with the mainstream adherence to the childhood vaccines, I was exposed to a community that offered an alternative perspective on the history, safety, and efficacy of this medical intervention. I was given books and research papers to review so I could make an informed decision. In 1993, when I gave birth to my first son, there was no internet to do research and so finding information that went against the mainstream was not so easily available.

After much consideration, we decided to not vaccinate, with an open mind to consider changing our decision if new information convinced us it was safe and necessary. We also decided not to circumcise our three sons. I left this decision to my husband who read the book I offered him, and he came to this clear decision on his own. I was relieved. I often have thought that I was guided on this path because I might have had one of the children that would have been a casualty of vaccine injury. I did not feel the need to warn anyone else but trusted that they would be led by their personal divine guidance to the journey that their Soul yearned to experience.

I share this journey with you as I come ‘out of the closet’ to disclose to a critical public, my choice not to vaccinate my children then and now not to vaccinate myself, because I wanted to illustrate the intricate nature of each person’s choices. To truly have integrity I feel it is critical that I follow my inner knowing regardless of popular opinion —whether it be that you follow the impulse to love someone who is not considered appropriate to the society you live in or to express as a gender that is not the one you were born in, or to reject a tradition or ritual within your culture that does not resonate with your own inner knowing of what is right for you. My inner knowing is my path to being, expressing, and experiencing my True Self.

I married a man at a young age that I am still with after 35 years, which seems like a pretty traditional choice. But that is not why I chose this lifestyle. It is because it resonated with me and my inner guidance kept me on this path. It is easier to be a heterosexual, monogamous woman than the many alternatives. Yet many of my choices have not been so easy, or mainstream. What is important is not what you choose, it is that you choose what resonates with your deepest values. It is critical that we do not go against ourselves. This is the source of our suffering, or malaise, or disconnection. No one but you knows what is right for you. No one!

Yet, we live in a society that trains us out of our own inner knowing. It trains us to rely on an outside authority to tell us what to do to be safe, healthy, go to heaven, have enough, be accepted, loved, and lovable. We did not come here to be the same as anyone else. We came to express and experience our own unique self. We came to create not observe or adhere to a reality already created by others. We came to experience what it is to be both human and divine.

Each Soul is doing this in their own way. It is not my business to inform you of how to walk your life path and which branches you will sprout out into. Only you can sense into that guidance that will allow you to realize the life you came to live. So as we sit in the portal of collective and individual transformation, be mindful to tend to your own sacred womb of creation, even as you sense the Infinite Womb of life that holds us All. Listen carefully with your heart, your mind, and body for the impulses that awaken the spirit of love and light in you. When you feel this spark and sense the light at the end of the birth canal, even with closed eyes, move in that direction. Move towards your light, and you will enter the path that brings you to the ocean of Love where we will all meet in harmony and Oneness.

Yet know this, the path will not be the same or even similar to others. This is how it must be. For just as my winding path brought me to the knowing that informed my choice to not vaccinate myself or the children that came through my body, you have your own unique journey. I will not judge you for the choices that you hold that do not resonate with mine, even if I believe they threaten my way of life. For this too is the way of LIfe.

My spiritual practice is not to be against anything, but to open to that which I desire to see and experience in my life and in the world. So, while I am choosing not to receive these injections, it is my intention to be no more against vaccines than I am against the viruses that circulate our planet and live in our bodies. What I am for is health, wellbeing, wholeness. I am for choice, freedom and self-empowerment. I am for connection, intimacy, love. I am for clean air, soil and water. I am for peace and harmony in our relationships with each other and with our beloved planet. I am for expanded consciousness, evolution and awakening to our soulful essence that knows we are unlimited, infinite, eternal and free regardless of the conditions we encounter in form.

Energy goes where our attention flows, and energy creates all matter. Therefore what we give our attention to matters. As we witness a massive upheaval of the life we have come to expect, we are each facing many choices on how to proceed, and what really matters to us.

So, let us consider this. May we allow the choices of others to unfold without resistance. As you follow your inner light and honor others to follow theirs, I trust in the evolution of the Infinite Soul of Life to hold us all within this massive, endless, infinite womb of creation. I choose above all else to remember that I am free, that I am Infinite Love and that I am always at cause and choice of the life that unfolds before me. I choose unity consciousness, beauty, and wholeness. I choose to sense this part of you that chooses this too and ride the celestial waves of possibility and creativity in the vastness of the unified field with you, my beloved soul family, my beloved humanity.

Yes, I am indeed PRO-CHOICE!

And so it is!

Unleash the Healing Power Within!



Unleash the healing power within! In order to do this, first, you have to acknowledge and remember who you truly are. You must remember that you are indeed powerful. That you are an unlimited, eternal, infinite being. You must not only remember but feel the truth of this in every cell of your body. There is a deafening noise ‘out’ there right now that is constantly telling you that you are limited, finite, mortal. It is compelling to be swept away by the drama of this story. It is blinding us from being able to see the Truth. As our physical senses are bombarded with the disempowering story, we must move away from the physical and turn inward to the vast, dark, inner territory where our true power lies.

We must turn down the volume on the outside world, close the shades to the blaring lights that spotlight the fear, pestilence, violence, disharmony. We must cultivate a new perception so that we can create a new possibility. The mirage has distorted our vision so much that we cannot see that the monster in front of us is really an angel. We flail and scream, fight and flee within this place that has become a hell, while all along we have never left the Garden of Eden.

We have come to believe that this body is simply flesh, bone, and blood, separate from the Source that made it. We have been made to believe that spirit and matter are separate. Yet the truth is that this body is ENERGY and energy is consciousness. The expression of matter is intrinsically connected to the consciousness that Creates. The story of separation is so deeply entrenched in our cultural story that we are swimming in Love and don’t even know it. We are the Love we swim in.

Yet, so many of us have come to believe that we are unlovable, fragile beings scrambling to survive in a world filled with threats. The threats are ubiquitous. Now with the pandemic, many of us are even afraid of the bodies of those we love most — those who have loved us the most. Our own bodies are a threat to ourselves and others. We are more steeped in this illusion of separation than ever before as the source of the love we perceived as outside of us is now a threat in and of itself.

Strange times.

Yet, could it be that this is what we needed to push us to the brink of our sanity — a sanity that is predicated on an insane worldview? Could this be the moment in history when the illusion comes tumbling down and we wake up from this nightmare? Surely we have come to this brink before. Many, many times in history there have been collective crises. Do we keep reaching this threshold of humanity’s redemption and then slip back into the abyss of amnesia? Will we cross the threshold this time and re-member.

Our wholeness depends on our re-membering who we truly are. We are magnificent beings expressed as body, mind, soul. We are indeed eternal, unlimited, and free. We are choosing to be here in this dimension of form, in a world where we have forgotten our brilliance. We signed on for this adventure. Everything is Energy vibrating with its own unique frequencies projecting these tangible holograms of unfathomable beauty and untenable horror. All of it emerges from the same Source of consciousness that, at its essence, is Love. Love is not limited to expressions of rainbows, butterflies, and unicorns. Love is deep and wild and adventurous. Love is fearless and yearns to know Itself in every possible way. Love loves ALL experience.

How can we reunite with this Love that is our very essence? For to reunite is to re-member. It is to tap into this infinite Self that is fearless and free. What is needed is a colossal shift of perception. Before we can see the garden of Eden that we are immersed in, we must step out of the illusion and embrace the truth of who we are. We must see that which is invisible, listen for the soundless whispers of our own Divine Self. We must follow the guidance that comes from this quiet, still, darkness and feels like LOVE seeping into every corner of our being. This is the voice to follow, even when it may sound insane to the world of form that we have been entrained to believe in.

Believe in Beauty. Believe in Love, possibility. Do not believe what you can see with your eyes. Believe in the vision you hold in your heart and trust that as you do that this becomes the energy that creates the world. Stop believing in your limitations but remember that you have chosen them, at a soul level.

So even your limitations are not a limitation. They are tools for experience, evolution, and transformation. Yet, in our fearless zeal, we dove deep into this mirage of limitation and many of us have forgotten that we chose this. The longer we have forgotten the more believable this world of form has become. We have come to believe the lie, that we are separate from Life, from Love, from the earth, and from each other. We actually believe that we must protect ourselves from the many diverse manifestations of the One consciousness. This belief system is simply no longer sustainable. A profound powerlessness has seeped into the consciousness of all humanity. It makes us do the most horrendous and unfathomable things.

Some of us strive for power in ways that crush the masses. Others do it in small and subtle ways that chip away at the self-esteem of another, or their own sense of true power. We do our best to feel powerful in a world that has forgotten what true power is. Power is not derived from some outside identity or relationship with form, but it emerges from the Infinite unlimitedness derived from the unified field that is equally accessible to all. This is the field of unlimited abundance, resources, creativity, beauty, intelligence, wisdom, possibility. It is Infinite! There is no end to what can be inspired and manifested from this powerful Source.

When we remember this truth, that has been known within our ancient spiritual traditions, and now is being revealed within our academic and scientific institutions, we have a new choice to make. Will we continue to be run by the old story of separation, competition, the survival of the fittest. Or, will we embrace the story of Oneness and interconnection —The story that reminds us of our innate power that lies not in the manipulation of form and matter, but requires a deep surrender to the formless field of infinite Love. It requires a radical shift in perception that allows us to see the Beauty especially where it seems most impossible, and to unearth this beauty for all to behold. It requires us to feel into the creativity that burns at the core of our belly and unleash it with wild abandon sharing our own buried beauty for all to behold. It requires seeing the other as one with your very essence, no matter how much you may believe the mirage of their own dysfunction. It requires trusting in the wisdom of your own body — Listening intently to the messages that come from the living beings we call cells that inhabit the body that inhabits the Soul of our Infinite Self.

It requires us to remember that we are SOUL and that the Soul is still within the Body of something beyond our human understanding. We come from the formless and we return to the formless. We are all heirs to the Infinite Universe from which we are birthed. Not one of us is more powerful than the other. It is only our belief in our flawed perceptions, that have been taught to us, that make this ‘true’.

Let us consider believing something new. Will you join me in believing in something kinder, more inclusive, more expansive, more empowering? Are you ready to give up the disempowering story that came before, that may have even defined your identity? Are you ready to give up any story that keeps you in a victim role — or a story that requires victims in your world to feel powerful? Are you ready to design a new cultural story that draws from ancient knowings, sweet messages embedded in all religions and spiritual traditions, but blasts through any message that holds us hostage? Are you ready to embrace the new emerging story reflected in science that tells us we are made of energy, that energy is all there is and all matter emerges from this Infinite Field of energy, that some of us call Spirit, Source, God, the Unified Field? Are you ready to embrace a story that we are not only a part of the energy that surrounds us but the biology expressed in matter is all energy and it is a part of our own biology? We are not only energetically/spiritually interconnected. We are biologically entwined. We cannot separate our body from the biology that is around us. As we tend to the body or soul of another, whether human, animal, plant, or planet, we are tending to the wellbeing of our own body and soul.

While this interconnectedness is intrinsic and real, my well-being and self-expression do not require you to agree with my new story. Just by embracing it myself and turning down the volume on the noise from the story of disempowering isolation I can experience and emanate the power I seek to embody. I do not require you to see the garden of Eden that we are inhabiting for me to relish this unparalleled beauty. I do not require you to change in order for me to become free. On the contrary, it is the awakening, the re-membering, of one of us that inspires the awakening of the whole of us. It is a process and it may take time for the whole to re-member, once again, our power. Yet, each part of the whole can become whole unto itself and this commitment to our own individual wholeness becomes our greatest gift to the collective. For the embodied frequency of this remembering of wholeness is intoxicating and will be too seductive for others not to join the party in the Garden.

So be True to your Inner power.
Unleash the wildness of this sweet freedom.
When you feel fear seep in,
as you get caught up in the old story of limited, finite mortality,
close the door,
pull the shades,
turn off the sound
and go within.
Envision the new.
Listen to the soundless whispers of your soul guiding you to the REAL beyond form.
And once you are on solid ground again,
and have aligned to the vibration of your own unique frequency,
open your door and windows
and sing
your own wild, wise and beautiful song
for all others to hear.
In this way,
you become a creator of the cultural song we sing
and a force of transformation and evolution.
Unleash your Power and heal us all!

www.bekiart.com

What are you VOTING for?

As this general election comes to a climax, there is one thing that continues to reverberate in my mind and heart.

What we embody, we emanate. What we emanate we create. Our inner world is reflected in our outer world. What, therefore, are you embodying? What result do we want to see from this election? Regardless of the candidates you are voting for, WHAT are you voting for? What quality of life are you desiring? As we perceive a country divided, how can we embody the possibility of unity?

I imagine that the essence of what I desire as a human being is not so different from all other humans: Health, Love, to feel safe, prosperous, inspired. I desire peace of mind and peace in the world around me. I desire my children to be happy, healthy and self-sufficient. I desire a healthy environment; clean air, water, soil, food. I want enough for myself and others. I want to be treated with respect and dignity, the freedom to choose the lifestyle I desire. I could go on and on, and my hunch is that every human’s core desire is not so different. We just all have different ideas on how to achieve this.

We have become defensive and fearful, and combative. Yet, it is the simple yet powerful act of embodiment that will not only create a healthier, more beautiful inner world for ourselves to enjoy, but it becomes the epicenter of a seismic wave of energy that ripples into the world around us. This energy informs the climate of emotion that informs the climate of mind that impacts the actions taken within the collective field. It is time for a climate change. And it begins with our intention to literally be the change we wish to see in the world.

I know this sounds ridiculously simple, even though this statement made by Gandhi has been quoted a million times. But I sense that it is the key to the secret garden of Eden to which we all yearn to return. Most of us miss the point of BEING, and we jump into action before we have fully basked in the state of being that we wish to feel and see expressed in the world. Peace; this is a big one. If I cannot know, feel and maintain a state of inner peace, then I cannot be an agent for peace in the outer world. Love: I yearn to live in a world that people show love and respect and honor for each other, and yet if I have not cultivated a consistent state of love for self and others within my immediate world, how can I expect to see it out there.

Perhaps we believe if these states of Being were expressed in the world around us that we could finally be able to feel the love, peace, safety, enoughness that we seek to know. We have created a paradigm in which we rely on the outside to change the inside. It is a fatally disempowering paradigm. We believe that if we elect the right people who think as close to the way we think about the issues that are dear to us that at last, we can be safe, free, supported.

As long as we look outside ourselves to be ‘saved,’ we will live in a divided country, a divided self. Yet, as I embody my soul and the qualities that align me to my divine self, I know, experience and feel the fullness of life’s abundant beauty and the possibilities for us all. So, I commit to hold this state of embodied love and peace with faith and trust, not in a perfect government, but in an awakening of humanity to the peace and beauty that lives within each of us. Through the eyes of possibility and creativity, I will see a new Earth, a new humanity that deeply loves and respects itself.

While I have already cast my vote in the general election, I will continue to focus each day on that which I am voting for, not what I am voting against. I have had a lifetime to get clear about what I don’t want for myself and my community. I have been derailed, disheartened, and disenfranchised as I have bared witness to the conditions that I deem unacceptable. And in my powerlessness, I gave birth to my desire to be an agent of change. For me, I keep being guided back to the simple truth that begins with the profound intention to embody that which I desire to see and experience in my world. It takes discipline, awareness, and profound self-love.

So as you cast your vote, remember the power of your inner state to affect the outer state of the country and the world. My son said to me the other day, “I don’t feel that my one vote will make a difference.” I think he speaks for many. Yet, I know that every single person on this planet matters, and so does our vote — our literal vote and, more importantly, our energetic vote for what we bring to life. What are you voting for? What you embody, you vote for, and you send out into the matrix of life and we are all touched by these energetic votes in ways beyond what we can imagine. Your vote matters, and it creates matter, so let’s get intentional and embody what matters to you.

I vote for love, peace, joy, freedom, vitality, health, wisdom, compassion, inspiration, kindness, creativity, innovation, beauty, unity consciousness, appreciation, acceptance, opportunity for all, enthusiasm, understanding, patience, healing, transformation, Oneness, Awakening…

What are you VOTING for?

The Ego

My Ego, Oil on canvas, By Beki

9.9.20

Could it be that we have been making the ego the villain in our ongoing drama of this story of separation with the Soul as the hero? If we would only remember the truth of who we really are, the Soul, then we could dissolve the ego like the bad witch in the Wizard of Oz. I know that we are doing our best with words to understand, contemplate, and make sense of this reality that we are navigating. The many philosophers, intellectuals, scientists, shamans, religious scholars, artists etc. strive to offer their own versions of what all this Life could be about. 

But could it be that all the versions are a story, a metaphor, an analogy to describe the indescribable. Even science, the purveyor of irrefutable provable reality, is in truth an art, a philosophy that keeps evolving and producing the most beautiful new discoveries and inventions. If only we could appreciate the creativity and innovation that emerges from these deep thinkers without needing to make it right to justify its value, perhaps we could make space for the validity of all. 

So I would like to tell a new story about the ego. The Ego feels very unappreciated these days, particularity within the spiritual arena that speaks about burning, dissolving, and letting the ego die. Of course we have used the term loosely as a way to describe people who are ‘full of themselves’, arrogant, and braggadocios as having a particularity big ego. It is the ‘unspiritual’ part of the self and tends to be considered a hinderance for liberation. It is pretty much always used as a derogatory term and therefore has fallen into the role of villain. 

However I would like to consider the idea that the Ego is the human self, the part of our consciousness that we merge with when our Soul enters the physical body. The Ego understands that it must work with the Soul to show It how to navigate the physical dimension of polarity, gravity, and limitation. This is not the domain of the Soul, who is by nature unlimited, eternal, and infinite. Yet, our Souls choose to be limited within these parameters for a very good reason or we would not be here. This physical world is BEAUTIFUL and full of potential and possibility. It allows for the most sensuous and delicious experiences that require the container that these limitations offer. Limitations such as: a mortal, physical body that can feel pain and pleasure and everything else; the inability to walk through walls so that you can touch them and feel the boundary between you and another; otherness, so that you can see, touch, hug, dance, kiss, make love with a separate being. Don’t even let me get started with the intoxication of the physical senses! 

I think we can all agree that there are many assets to embodying a human being. Yet, we can all see the limitations and the heartache that it causes are equal to the ecstasy. It seems as though we have become so identified with the physical human self that we have forgotten our divine nature that knows our magnificence beyond the limitations of this dimension. We had forgotten that this was a choice and that we are more than this identity, body and this life. In this forgetting of this essential essence of our Being, we became overly identified with the Ego aspect of our being and without the conscious partner of the Soul driving the ship, our Egos jumped into the drivers seat to save the day. 

Whose fault was it, when the Soul seemed to disappear, fall asleep or get knocked unconscious? I think it is the nature of the Ego, that lives from separation consciousness, to ask that question and to argue and justify. Without the Soul present to infuse the frequency of Divine Love this story of separation takes over and we begin the slippery slope down this hellish hole of life without the Soul. 

Yet, the great awakening that we have been dreaming of is upon us. It is the awakening to the essence of the Soul, not just in ourself, but in all Life. ALL of it. At the beginning of this awakening we saw the ego as the problem. It seemed that when it took over all hell broke loose across the earth: corruption, famine, genocide, slavery, deforestation, devastating climate change, polluting of the soil, air and water and so on, and so on. Soulless humans running the show! 

Could it be that the human self, the Ego, got a bad rap. I would like to contemplate another story for a moment. The Souls of humanity choose this experiment of stepping back, letting the Egos take a go at it on their own. Maybe our Souls wanted this particular probability played out to know what it is like to be simply human-identified and feel the full amnesia from the Inner Divine perspective, and then to wake back up to this realization of the truth of who we really are; to forget to remember. 

From our human perspective this seems like a horrible idea! The Ego didn’t ask for this solo gig. It could not even be alive without the breath of spirit giving it life, so why would it want to be alone in an already lonely, separate mind? I have weaved this story, not as truth, but as way for myself to begin to perceive the Ego as something that I can appreciate, love and incorporate as a crucial aspect of my being. As I dismantle the old story of separation and polarity, I aim to allow a new story of interconnection and oneness to arise. It is pushing its way through my mind and my words as I contemplate the ego in a new way. 

My ego and my human-embodied soul are co-pilots on a grand adventure. They need each other. They are indeed apart of each other. When the Soul leaves the body the human self succumbs to the limitations of the physical dimension and re-emerges with the earth-body, Gaia, from which it came. The Soul returns to the spacious infinite dimension among the stars. The love affair comes to an end and the ache for this dance remains forever in the heart of the Soul and the body of the earth. 

In a time and a space within the lush garden of earth a precious and beautiful expression of the Infinite Source of Love entered the womb of a woman, native to this land. The womb was a new and foreign world to the Soul that felt the tangible sensation of its mother’s inner body. The slow and gradual awakening of its senses were fascinating to the soul as it merged with the growing body in the belly. The body carried the imprint of the mother and father and the bodies and minds of the humans that came before. The genetic material gave a unique blend of qualities to create a distinct physical expression of all that came before in the bodies that enable this body to emerge in the particular way it did. 

When this new being emerged from the body of the mother, it felt the familiar energy of the other humans that surrounded it for the first time in a way that it could perceive them as separate energies and shapes and colors and sounds. The explosion of senses was mind-blowing.  But the most stunning was the vision of the mother that it had only knew from within, as a part of her. The beauty and strangeness of her being separate from the body it knew as itself was, well, unsettling to say the least. So it slept, a lot, dreaming of the oneness that it knew as most natural. 

Soon the newborn noticed another energy gently prodding it awake. It whispered in its ear. You are a girl, you are a baby, you are brown and soft and smell like roses. You are magic and I am here to show you how to walk among humans. I will show you how to live in a body and keep it safe. I am your soul’s mate. I am Ego, at your service. She flutters her eyes open with excitement and recognition. Oh yes, this is why I have come: to be human and live within the world of form. My Ego is my mate and together we will be able to navigate a life of possibility, wonder, adventure. We are on the leading edge of creation. 

She feels safe with Ego, even though she never knew what feeling unsafe felt like. Earth is native territory for Ego. It knows the ropes and senses into the lineage that vibrate from the human body’s cells newly activated by this unique expression of Divine Energy. Ego knows how to utilize the strengths and weaknesses that it inherited in the body it inhabits. It diligently begins to train the Energy of the Soul on how to use this body and environment to best create and explore the world around it. Ego loves the scent of roses that the Soul brought with her. It is unearthly somehow and full of mystery. It feels sacred and familiar at the same time. Perhaps this body holds the memory of a time when rituals of Love were practiced in the body. The ego feels the memory and opens with a sigh of ease. 

Ego feels at home with the body, as Soul adjusts to the incredibly limiting range of motion. While she is often frustrated by the helpless little body she has merged with, she is full of awe and wonder as she senses the world from the body with sight, sound, touch, taste and scent. It is both bliss and hell all at once, with waves of ecstasy and pangs of intense fear weaving through the the matrix of the human experience. The Soul is fully present with it all, curious and enthralled by this strange and wonderful world. Ego takes her hand and navigates the fearless soul through the complexities of the human body and psyche and the physical dimension it is one with. A great friendship is being forged as this wild ride begins and then somehow, someway, one day something changed, and they lost each other along the way. 

Without the Soul the Ego was lifeless, desperate and callous. Everything was about survival. She was always anxious and worried and felt like she needed to prove her worth so that she would be loved, safe, alive. She needed to keep everyone in her life safe too, so she would be taken care of. Her body felt heavy and cumbersome. The inner flame was dim, for Soul could not be completely gone or Ego would die. There was just enough memory of her glowing warmth to keep going, trudging through life the best she could. 

Without the Ego, the Soul was groundless. She was unable to fulfill her life’s mission to really experience and know the dimension of form and the beauty that comes with this union when embodying the human. She felt restless for felt connection, intimacy expressed, creation manifested. She yearned to know what she came to earth to know and needed her co-pilot to navigate this earthly terrain that felt so strange and beautiful. 

After eons of separation living in worlds that either exalted or worshiped one or the other or disregarded, ignored, disowned or demonized one or the other,  they remembered that they need each other. They bravely stood up and called forth this union, in spite of the naysayers and the tugging and pulling from one side or the other. They decided that no other relationship is more important than this original union when the soul embodied  human. And with one bold and radical act of Love the two merged together as one, and something magically miraculous occurred.  

This reconciliation rippled through the Universe and across planet earth and the new human soul emerged. And on that day a new story was born, and the old one faded away. In this story spirit and matter are one. Everything is imbued with the divine. The Ego is honored as the wonderful earth guide that it is and the Soul is recognized as the revered guest of honor in the world of form. She is the artist in residence that innovates, inspires and ignites, creating beauty and meaning everywhere she goes. She is brilliant and adventurous and fearless and yet deeply respects the advice of her wise and practical guide that teaches her the human qualities that have evolved over millennia, as the body has learned to adapt to the ever changing environment within the earth plane.  Neither ego or soul is considered more important or sacred than the other in this New Earth that was born from the powerful desire demonstrated that fateful day when the Union of Human Ego and Divine Soul was restored.

Oneness, interconnection, unity consciousness flourished across the land and the golden age of Beauty and Bounty began and continues on into eternity. For the memory of the great division and the sorrow and pain it caused is etched in the DNA of each new human body that becomes embodied by Soul. It serves to remind us so we may know our worth with humility and courage as we forge forward and onward on this grand great adventure we call Life. 

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My Theory of Emergence

The Vortex. Oil on canvas. By beki

8.25.2020

I propose, from my own spiritual, creative, artistic point of view, my own theory of emergence. I have been contemplating this as I explore the germ theory versus terrain theory as we are in the throes of a global health crisis, the COVID-19 Pandemic, that hinges its existence and perpetuation on the stronghold of this idea of germ theory. It presumes that a germ, a pathogen, a virus, that lives outside us, can jump on us, projected from another person infected with this disease, and cause disease within us. 

This model of reality is entrenched not just in our story of biology, but our social structures and traditional western religious models that assume that we are victim to something outside of us that determines our fate. In my own journey of awakening, I have come to a deep knowing that the Source, we call God, is not a force outside of me, but a Divine essence that resides within me and within all of Life. This Essence is Love and permeates and animates all of life. I also have a felt knowing that we are all sovereign beings of divine proportion, creators with profound and unlimited power that we have become utterly and tragically unaware of. So much so, that we succumb to the belief that we can be crushed and obliterated by an inert virus that succumbs to 20 seconds of hand washing. We believe that if we can just keep it out of our bodies, we will be safe.

In spite of this truth that the Universe resides within us all with divine intelligence and benevolence, the story of separation that fuels the beliefs that we are alone, weak, vulnerable, sinners, and so on, has infiltrated our minds and highjacked our reality. These self-deprecating legacies, entrenched in the lore of humanity, have inspired a perception of reality that tells the terrifying stories of contagion that gave me nightmares my whole life. 

Now I sit in the midst of this nightmare, and I am forced to wake up or else I will drown in my own fear. 

My theory of emergence, reflected beautifully within the ‘New Biology’ that I have recently become very intrigued with, is that everything emerges from you: your body, your mind, your consciousness. As I was doing my morning mediation I thought about how love is something that we seek outside of ourselves all the time. We ache to be loved. But could it be that we ache to feel love or loved. Certainly outside conditions can inspire the environment for the feeling to arise within us, but love cannot be injected into us. Someone can be effusively loving us and unless we can feel it within us, the gesture of devotion can have no effect. Therefore it seems to me that Love lives within and when felt it emerges impacting all who are present to experience the emergence and expression of what was there all along. 

The terrain theory in biology postulates that it is the inner environment of the body that is most consequential when it comes to the ability for conditions of disease to manifest within the body. In a way the disease emerges from the body as a way to alert the person that there is imbalance within. I feel that this imbalance begins with the mind, the thoughts and beliefs, and slowly makes its way into the physical body as a form of inner communication. In this sense disease is not so much a negative event, but rather a  network of communication designed to wake us up to something either spiritually, psychologically, or environmentally that is out of balance. Disease is a mechanism to inspire awareness for rebalancing, homeostasis.  

I also believe that there are conditions expresses in one’s life and body that are inspired by a more mysterious source that allows the soul to experience the adventure it came forth to live. In this case, while the disease could be a way of indicating imbalance, it also could be called forth by the soul of the human for a profound and deeply desired experience that our human minds cannot make sense of. Some things we just simply cannot understand from the human perspective and certainly not from the logical mind divorced from the mystical heart of intuitive knowing. 

Yet, this terrain theory of what I would like to call emergence, feels kinder to me than the older theory of the germ. It offers an empowering story in which we are never victims of life. Rather, we are continuously being offered feedback from the universe of what we are holding within our mind and body that no longer serves us. Just like the belief system that embraces the law of attraction, and that we ‘create our own reality’, I recognize that both by intention and by default, I am participating in my life’s expressions. I choose consciously or unconsciously by my focus and my perception. 

When life feels completely out of my control, I have learned to surrender to my Higher Power that not only lives within all living beings, but lives within me. This act of surrender, in a way, is a declaration of my faith in my Divine Self and the Infinite Source that I am one with. This faith is emergent. It is not something that can be learned. It can be cultivated, but the seed of faith lives within each of us. 

I have come to understand the collective reality, not as something imposed on me, but as an opportunity to see how I am either in coherence or dissonance with that reality. I can then choose consciously how I will participate in the emergence of a desired expression of collective reality. As a Divine Being, I recognize that my expressed energy has an impact on the whole. 

What we embody we emanate. 

When I am intentional and conscious of what I am embodying, I am choosing to be a vector of Love, peace, wisdom, kindness, respect, reverence, patience, understanding. It is my desire to embody that which I yearn to experience reflected back to me from the world. This quality of being that naturally and effortlessly emerges from me, is always what is being reflected back to me. The feedback gives me clarity as to what I am embodying. 

When I am looking outside myself and striving to change the conditions/symptoms, that are really the feedback offered for self awareness and self-reflection, I will often feel the mounting fear and exasperation, victimhood and hopelessness that is the very thing aching within me and causing me to flail in the world of form to create change. 

While some things will seemingly be accomplished from this old way of creating change, the more effective approach to bringing balance and homeostasis to a diseased, chaotic world, is from the inside out. Heal the dis-ease within and embody the essence of what you desire to see reflected in your world and you will become a powerful force for change. The work to heal anything, indeed, comes from within each of us. It is profound, conscious work and often considered self-indulgent. Yet, as we enter into a broader and deeper understanding of life, where the spiritual, social, biological intersect, where all is interconnected, you will recognize the beauty of self-full consciousness as a potent elixir for collective transformation. 

So dear citizens of planet earth, consider this possibility. If you are in the throes of the coronavirus experience or any other threatening reality, take the time to go within and explore what in you is a reflection of the world outside of you. Each of us are experiencing this global condition in different ways. Each of us are triggered by different aspects of this drama. As you see your part in this collective expression, consider what you would like to change about your offering. What is it that you need to embody in you, that you would like to see expressed in the world you live in. As you become clear, you are able to stop projecting all that you fear or despise outside of you and allow yourself to feel how it lives inside of you. 

This courageous act of self awareness is a profound gift to yourself and the whole of Life. As you own this dis-ease, you heal it. For as long as it is outside of you, you will be helpless to heal it. You can only heal what is yours to heal. This self-love heals you. As you heal, you become an unhindered vector of Love that has more influence and impact on the world than any diseased part of yourself ever had. Your inner terrain becomes a field of Love and light and all that comes into your sphere ‘catch’ the virus of love and this is the energy that becomes  contagious. Love will spread like wild fire to all the expressions of life around you and then the rippling effect will be exponential. 

You will be a vision of glowing health that will light up the world with your inner flame so others become more awake and aware of their own Inner Light. So take the time to tend you your inner terrain. It matters. For it is the very space from which all matter emerges. 

Making the Dream the Reality

Unity oil on canvas by beki

7/30/2020

We are in the midst of very strange times. I must admit that I have struggled to stay centered in the whirling winds of this hurricane. It seems that we are all being instigated to feel the buried patterns that keep us steeped in a state of separation consciousness. I would like to consider a possibility, as we collectively dance in the waters of this global crisis. 

Could it be that we are in the midst of birthing a new earth? The metaphysical and spiritual community which I resonate with, offers this potential. I would like to wade in the waters of this possibility and allow myself to feel the warm embrace of the cosmic Mother wrap me in her dark and safe womb. 

Could it be that all the extreme expressions of the illusive belief that we are separate from each other, the earth and all of life, is the last crescendo of resistance before the fall of the old paradigm? Could it be that this intensification of polarity consciousness is the rock bottom we all have been waiting for that will initiate the conversion experience that will awaken humanity to a new way of being that embraces interconnection, interdependence, unity consciousness and oneness? Could it be that this long moment in time is pushing all the dysfunctional programs to the surface to be revealed, so that we can make a choice to delete them from our hard drive, allowing space for new programs that serve the sustainability of Life flourishing on earth, including humanity?

Could it be that our collective Soul chose this moment so that we could evolve?

It feels like we are no longer in the warm embracing womb of the Mother. It feels like we are in the throes of labor. It hurts! To so many of us, it feels as though we are dying because the crushing squeeze of each contraction is annihilating the world we know. Some of us are  unconscious and perhaps numbed by medication that keeps us unaware of the intensity of the moment. For some souls, they have chosen to leave the physical dimension so they can assist from the realms of Divine Love, unencumbered by the fear-based ego. Perhaps some have left their bodies because they knew that their sacrifice would serve a greater good to awaken humanity to the insanity born of separation consciousness. Others are riding the rollercoaster ride with zest and zeal, fearlessly diving into the adventure of this drama. This program of control, competition and division is being revealed and the deep desire for a world of unity, cooperation, creativity and collaboration is growing. 

With the new enlivened desire for this new earth to emerge, we become at times, mesmerized by the conditions that are fueling the fierce desire for this expression of Love to take hold. The challenge for those of us who believe in this possibility is that we stay focused ON the new possibility and do not give our precious energy to the dying program that is fighting for its life. Fighting is the nature of the old paradigm. War is its language. It will fight to the bitter end. So it will require intense focus and commitment to remove our focus from this war zone, so that we can envision peace, beauty, thriving life and creative self expression for all. 

Do you remember the movie “A Beautiful Life” where the father creates a world of wonder and adventure for his son in the midst of being contained  within a WW2 concentration camp? For the love of his son, he ‘fooled’ him to believe this was a game, and he was able to keep him alive until the end of the war so that he could reunite with his mother. It takes a very creative, resilient and unique human being to be so focused. His love for his son and wife was so fierce that it gave birth to this intense commitment to creating beauty in the midst of war. He made the dream the reality for his child. 

It is time for us to do the same. We must make our wildest most beautiful, magical dream the reality in our own personal world. We must take our attention away form the world of war that our past has created, and focus on the world of beauty and peace that our past has inspired!

As we do this in the small ways that are close to home, we will grow in our ability to bring this frequency of a new reality to the larger community around us and beyond. We must practice this fierce Love. Let’s think of those that we love easily and fiercely and embody this New Earth for them. Live it and show them the truth of this beautiful new world. It won’t be hard once we train ourselves to see beauty everywhere. It is all around us already. We don’t even have to imagine, although that is always fun to do. Beauty and Love is the essence of all of Life. It is available in each moment, when we allow ourselves to see it. You may have to take out your metaphysical binoculars so that you can truly see the beauty where normally you see pain. Start with the places it is easy and then challenge yourself to find beauty everywhere. 

I assure you that as I write this, that I am writing this for myself. For someone who is addicted to feeling responsibility for the wellbeing of everyone, this is a challenge that I have failed at miserably. But my persistent Inner Being, and the beings of light and love that are always by my side, keep picking me up and patiently nudge me to this sacred seva —the sacred service that does not leave myself out. For as I embody Love, Beauty, Peace, Joy and Freedom, in the midst of a perceived world of the opposite, not only do I emanate this life giving, transforming frequency to the collective world, I am drenched in these divine frequencies and feel the relief of coming home to the Ultimate Truth of God. 

So I see Beauty. I see it. I feel it. I know it even when I can’t see it. It is in the starving child, the raging racist, the dying tree, in the sick and the poor, in violence and peace, in death, in struggle, in pain, in heartache, in the victim and the villain. Yes, this is hard. This is hard to accept, let alone see. We are trained to judge everything as right or wrong, good or bad, beautiful or ugly, worthy or unworthy. We have been trained to see everything as separate within the consciousness of duality and polarity. It is time to experience a new consciousness that can create a new reality. Our old consciousness keeps creating more of the same old reality. 

I don’t know about you, but I am tired of this limited perception of reality and I am down right exhausted by this war that lives inside and outside of me. It is usurping my creativity and zaps all my energy. So I invite you to find your own way to end the war, and to support me and others to envision, create, and see The more Beautiful World our Hearts Know is Possible that is already vibrating with vibrancy right behind the veil of our own limited perception. Let’s lift that veil and live from this reality, so that we can reveal this living truth for all to see!

Calling all Sacred Activists

SOUL TALK

OM HEALER (Self soul portrait) oil on canvas

6/13/2020

The last three months have been a crescendo of grief, fear, inner turmoil, confusion with many delicious dips into the cool pool of remembering, an urging from my soul to remember my inner truth, and tickles of excitement. Something BIG is happening inside of me and outside of me. I am living through an inner/outer contraction of mammoth magnitude! The global pandemic  initiated the contraction.

I remember when I went into labor with each of my sons, and how the powerful force of creative mayhem would enter my body — the contractions ensuing that would give birth to my beloved child, from formless to form, my long awaited progeny. A contraction is painful, intense and downright terrifying. It carries with it the realization that there is no going back. This baby is going to be born and in the act of its emergence, will ravish my body, ripping me open both physically and emotionally. 

When the labor of birth began my body would shake uncontrollably. There is nothing controllable about birth. It is the wild force of nature propelled by the creative Source of all Life. The best that any of us can do in the wake of Birth, is to surrender, allow and breathe. No matter how much you prepare, when the moment comes to bring life into the world, you are ushered into the deep, dark mystery of the Unknown. 

There is no other metaphor that holds the power and essence of what I am wanting to convey right now. For as I feel it, see it, know it, we are in a massive collective contraction. We are steeped in the chaotic power of a creative force that is squeezing us, calling us in, calling us out, ripping us open. It is indeed terrifying and extremely exciting. My little beki, my human mind is freaking out! But my Soul is fucking stoked. My Soul is feeling the fullness and fierceness of the moment. My Soul does not know the fear that my human self carries. She is not fearless, brave or courageous. She is fucking fierce and dared to come back to this wild world of chaos within this small brown body, in a time when folks are waking up to the atrocities that systemic racism has wreaked on black and brown bodies for centuries. My Soul knows something that I am just coming to integrate. She knows that I am Safe. 

Breathe.

Just take that in. 

You are safe too. We are all safe. 

Yes in the midst of a global pandemic, and now in the middle of the revolution for evolution spurred by the demonstrations protesting the murder of George Floyd by a police officer. Like wild fire, the demonstrations have spread throughout the country and across the world. We are demanding that Black Lives Matter. It is an eruption of all emotions all at once: horror, disgust, anger, rage, despair, terror, hopelessness, possibility, connection, isolation, intolerance, excitement, love, passion and purpose, exhaustion and on and on. I have felt many of those emotions. 

Fear and despair tend to be where I go first when I am emotionally triggered — with both the pandemic and the Revolution. I entered into both contractions with an intensity characteristic of my personality, and as I processed the information that was coming from out there I inevitably would find myself redirecting my energy in here — inside. 

Through my own spiritual journey and evolution I have come to understand how important it is for me to tune in to my Soul’s voice, and connect to the Divine Source of ALL life so that I may experience life with clarity and know my place and purpose within the world. For the last two weeks as I delved into the feeling initiated by my focus on the tremendously powerful movement for Black Lives, I ventured out into the world of matter. I felt the fullness of the external world and all the many reactions to it in my energy body and physical body. That is what I do. Perhaps you do too. It is a curse and a blessing. They call people like me empaths. It is exhausting and heart-breaking.

Yet there is a profound alchemy that happens when one learns to work with these energies. This is something I am definitely feeling happen in me right now. Each day I enter into a dialogue with my own Inner Guidance and I am offered tools and insight to navigate the outer and inner terrain that will be most beneficial for my evolution and support my unique offering to the collective. 

I call this work, sacred activism. When I enter the sacred work of communion with the Divine, I alchemize the human dimension of emotion, thought, belief into an elixir of Beauty. What is born from this inner journey of deep connection with the Love that is the very essence of Life, is an expression that arises from the formless. It is unique, alive, personal and universal. It is grounded in the frequency of Love and it feels clear, powerful, joyful and unconditional. 

When I emerge from this inner realm I am born again, awakened and enlightened. I become full of Presence and feel tuned in to the present moment. 

This is the energy that I am able to bring to the world of form, when I have taken the time to go within. 

For the past two days I have been painting a soul portrait, which requires me to enter into the formless, unseen, infinite field of the Divine. In this process, I open, trust, allow and surrender so that the impulse of this Soul can move through me to create a painting that becomes a tool for my client to re-member and awaken to her Divine Self. 

This is how I create. I create form from the formless. I do not focus on what is, and use that as the inspiration for my art. I enter into the dark womb of creation and let it emerge through me into form, as color, shape, energy, vibration made visible. Just as I did not make my sons, but allowed the seed of life to be planted in my womb, to grow and be born through my very body, so that the Soul of my child could be embodied. This was not a conscious choice, but a sacred agreement between my own soul and theirs. 

Now, I sit in the midst of a world that is seemly falling apart, at a tipping point, on the brink of extinction or the brink of ascension, depending on how you see it. Entropy or expansion.  Terrifying to the mind, exhilarating to the Soul. How do I proceed? How do you proceed? 

My Soul is clear. She tells me that I must create from the void. She tells me this is MY way. I am nudged to sit in stillness, tune in until I feel the fullness of Life and Love enter my being, and then steep in it a while longer. My Soul urges me to move beyond the emotions, after giving space for them to be felt and then to feel what is in that space beyond. I may not be able to see it, but I can feel it. She tells me to go where I go when I create art, when I give form to the formless beauty of Soul, Spirit, Love. She reminds me that this is not separate from the world of form, or the human experience, but it is the very Source from which it all came. It is the Mother’s womb of humanity. Spirit and Matter are one. But spirit is the source of creation, while matter is the creation. If you want to create something new, you must stop focusing on what is already manifested! Let the manifested only be the source of inspiration to ignite the new work of art. 

You see we are all mesmerized with what is already manifested in form, in matter, in the world. We are driven by the manifestation and strive to change it from the dimension of form. We are matching our inner vibration with the vibration of what is already created, when now, more than ever, we must generate a new vibration that becomes the force that creates a new creation, a new reality! That new vibration must be cultivated within each of us first and then we can band together energetically with other creators who are doing this inner sacred activism to affect change from the inside-out. 

Some of us will envision a new earth, a new expression of humanity and the way in which we interact with each other and all of life. Some of us, like myself, will feeeeeeel into a new frequency of Love, harmony, joy, freedom, clarity, empowerment, and embody that energy. 

Some will go within and be inspired to create some form of art that reflects the frequency of the new expression of Beauty we desire to see and feel in the world. 

Do not underestimate the power of this inner work. Do not mistake this removal of attention from the conditions of what is to the Infinite field, as ‘burying your head in the sand’. While this is certainly a coping mechanism for many humans living right now, it is not what the sacred activists are doing when they leave the outer world and enter into the fertile ground of the formless dimension. 

It is profoundly creative work, and requires intense focus and commitment. Yet, it is infinitely more kind to myself, as an empath, to follow the current of my own Soul, and leave the abrasiveness of the manifested world, so that I can feel and create the Beauty that heals.

It is easier to go downstream and infinitely more productive and beneficial to myself and my community, when I allow myself to do what I know I am meant to do in this moment in time. 

I share my own process with you today, even as I continue through the twists and turns, the contractions and expansions, the despair, fear, joy and clarity, to offer you this: 

Follow your inner knowing. 

Know your medicine, your gift, your way that is most natural, true and real to you. 

Bare your Beauty! 

Allow yourself to be yourSelf in all this craziness.

Do not let anyone else tell you how to be in the world right now. Only You know!

It is okay to find Peace inside before working towards peace outside. When you feel safe, you have access to joy, and then you walk out in the world and become a vector of joy and love. So do whatever it takes to remember and realize that you are safe. For me, this is core and the frontline of my inner work. 

Some of my tools for alignment: 

The vibrational medicine of flower essences 

fasting from social media and the news

Writing and receiving guidance for the Akashic Records

Walking in nature

Love making

Reading and watching inspirational material

Grounding/earthing

Follow your inner guidance and if you don’t have a relationship with this Inner Source of knowing, love and wisdom, find a way to develop it. Plan to meet up with her/him/You every single day and I promise you, you will fall in Love! For this is who you are, my dear beloveds. 

You. Are. Love. 

And I love you.

So if you choose, 

BE the vibration of Love and it will be reflected back to you in the world you inhabit. 

Stop being afraid, angry, hurt, intolerant… 

Be LOVE and this is what will BE. 

In Reverence, Love, and Oneness

TRUTH

4/2/2020

This is a message I received from my Divine Guidance:

Any belief that is perceived from within the physical dimension and human mind is relative truth. It is a truth that takes you on the path to the Divine Truth, or Ultimate Truth, that cannot be described in human language, but can be sensed, felt and known in a visceral and ineffable way. 

Right now there is a plethora of truths flying around, in regards to the COVID-19 Pandemic. There is always a myriad of truths circulating humanity, but right now is a particularly polarized time because of the centralized focus by the majority of humanity on the same subject. Everyone is being affected by this pandemic and therefore our attention is, in a sense, singular. However, our individual experience, approach and beliefs regarding this collective condition is far from singular. So, the truths experienced are relative to the perceiver. 

As we navigate these times we are becoming more aware of our Oneness and at the very same time triggered by our differences. Our Oneness is enhanced and felt in a very tangible way when we recognize how we are all in this together and how essential each part of the whole is to the whole being whole. Simultaneously, the differences in the beliefs we hold true are highlighted because we are all reacting and processing the same crisis/condition in our own unique way.

All that being said, it is crucial at this time for each of us to stand in our own truth with confidence and clarity, unapologetically. At the same time it is equally important that we honor and respect the truths that others hold, even if it is not in alignment with what we know as true for ourself. This can be challenging at times, especially when you believe that the other’s truth will be a threat to you in some way. 

For example, you may believe the information that encourages the public to use masks to hinder the spread of the disease. Whereas a family member that you live with may believe that this is ridiculous and totes his own experts that offer conflicting evidence disputing that there is any value in this approach. This can cause a war right in your home. So, while it is challenging, the Divine wants us to know that the opportunity here is for both to stand tall and clear in their truth while simultaneously honoring the other who believes something different.

Truth is not dependent on it being true for all for it to be true at all.

Each being has a unique path that will lead you to the Unified Truth of Love. By honoring our sovereignty and that of another, we can utilize our own personal road map that offers the guidance to live the life our Souls came to live. When we feel pulled and prodded to believe in something that does not resonate with our own Soul, we get lost in the fray and find ourselves wandering in foreign land. The Soul’s path is familiar ground that always feels like home. 

So celebrate your truth and by all means celebrate another when they speak and live their own truth. This is something to truly celebrate! For when another finds the home of their Soul, they are at home in themselves and they embody the Beauty of their Being in a way that benefits us all. When each of us is truly aligned with our Soul, we feel loved, lovable, worthy, beautiful, connected, tuned in. We live from this place of Love embodied, and emanate joy, peace, creativity, wisdom, and a reverence for all life. We are no longer in competition with each other, but are inspired to collaborate with one another to experience and share the beauty we recognize in the self and the other.  

So right now I keep hearing my Divine Guidance nudging me to look at this idea of relative and ultimate truth and how important it is to really own our individual truth. Live from it. Walk your talk. As you do this you will truly feel and know your power. As long as you stay in a place of reverence for the truth of others and the path it takes them on, you will be able to create and experience the world you desire to live in. 

I hope I have been able to express clearly here what I am coming to understand. It feels incredibly profound to me. For so long I think I felt like I needed those I love to understand me, agree with me, join me in my story and experience of life. Somehow I am coming to understand that this is not necessary and in fact the expectation for this becomes a form of bondage. This new way of perceiving things feels incredibly exciting and liberating. It also feels empowering. It really gives me permission to trust my own Inner Authority, without needing someone else to validate it to make it true! As long as we respect others as having their own authority as well and even supporting them in aligning with that, we will see a proliferation of beings who feel worthy, seen, honored and therefore we inspire the best in them to be revealed for us all to behold. ~beki

The Body of Humanity

Every day I check in with Divine Guidance and receive messages that enlighten and soothe and offer clarity and sometimes instructions. This was the first piece I wrote about the Corona Virus on 2/29/20. For some reason I did not post it before some of the writings that followed. I am compelled to share it now.

Beki:

There is a worldwide panic about the spread of the Coronavirus that originated in China and has been the cause of many deaths. Thousands. Please talk to us about disease. Contagious diseases. How do we deal with this issue individually and collectively?

Divine Guidance: 

The Coronavirus is a symptom of sickness within the body of humanity. It reminds you that you are deeply connected to each other, and that if one aspect of your community is suffering then it will effect the wellbeing of the whole. If your foot is broken, you, as the consciousness of the whole, will feel this pain and will want to address it so that it can heal. 

A virus like this speaks to the consciousness of the whole. You cannot simply quarantine the virus in one part of the body of humanity and expect it not to effect the rest of the body. You certainly can attempt to and it will ward off the danger for a while, but until you address the core cause of dis-ease in the first place, it will find a way to get your attention by spreading to other aspects of the body. 

Your world is in upheaval. It is not the first time. There are many souls who have been here before in the midst of this kind of chaos. Many of you have come ‘back’ to this time and space to bring the wisdom you garnered from other times of upheaval. The question we would ask, is how can you heal this ‘Disease’ that affects humanity. This virus is a metaphor for the disease of disconnection. You must see how you are a part of a whole organism, as a human, that is a part of humanity and a part of the earth and all other aspects of this ecosystem that supports the thriving of each living species. Just as you are also a part of the body of God; an intricate, distinct, and essential part of the Divine whole – Consciousness expressing in a specific and unique way. 

The best way to heal this virus and the greater virus that plagues humanity, is to truly recognize your inter-connective nature. When you encounter another being, recognize that they are a part of you. Honor their presence. In the ways that feel most natural to you, uplift the other. See them in their wholeness and brilliance. Offer your assistance, if that feels empowering to them and you. Treat them like a brother, sister, mother, father in your heart. Hold them in the bosom of divine love. And most importantly, hold yourself there. For more damage is done to the human whole, by those who hate themselves. Self love trumps all other practices, for all other deviations from Love are born from this self-loathing. 

So individually, work towards unity consciousness. Become deeply aware of the connection you have with all of life. Practice seeing the wellbeing and beauty in the other, and even in the situations that feel unlovable to you. For they are a part of the whole of you, and if you ignore or shun it, it will be the dis-ease that grows and proliferates without you realizing, until it is too late. 

This can be as simple as flooding the whole of humanity with the frequency of Love, understanding, and envisioning the best of humanity proliferating in the minds and hearts of all. 

Embody the beauty and vision of the human race. Take the ones you abhor most and put them in the center of the healing circle in your mind and flood them with love so that you may reintegrate them into your human consciousness. 

Your deadly viruses show you the shadowy truth that you have not wanted to look at, and when you shed the light into the dark shadow of your worst beliefs and thoughts about yourselves, you can see how it has been eating away at your collective wellbeing. Welcome this opportunity to shed light and love and perceive the beauty within the darkness and you will heal the festering wound of separation. You will be able to see the nature of the condition that threatens you and more clearly know the solution that will heal it. But you must be willing to look deeper and bring the pieces of the puzzle together. Everything is interconnected and when you focus on the parts and not the whole, the picture is not complete, and you are left feeling hopeless. 

So we again, encourage you to seek the beauty, align to the Love that soothes and edifies you. Be willing to look into the darkness and then shed the soothing light of Divine Love, that does not judge but sees only Beauty. Align to Love before entering the wound and you will be guided. You will not be swallowed by the pain. And yet, do not pull back from the emotions that arise, for your feelings allow the motion needed to wash and heal the hidden wound. Weep and wail, but do not wallow. Allow the current of Divine Love to cleanse and reveal the beauty that was always there. Shine the light on the Bare Beauty. Reveal what is Real. Release the illusion of disease, and remember the Ease of Being. 

This is your work. This is the work of the light workers. To shine light on the truth. To awaken humanity to the Beauty that is present in all and especially in themselves. For ye are brilliant, beautiful, divine beings of Love, and you, dear ones, are LOVED.  Remember this. Embody this. And remind others of this truth. 

Received from the Akashic Records of Humanity