What does it mean to be intimate? The concept has been one that has eluded me for a long time. Am I afraid of intimacy? Am I really willing to be intimate? Am I holding back from life, from my lover, from my relationships? What scares me—being vulnerable, being hurt?
It seems to me that it takes courage to be intimate, and intimacy starts with the Self. Intimacy, when mastered, is the highest spiritual ideal, because it allows for a sweet, delicious connection to All That Is. It recoils from nothing. It walks into the darkness, the earthy barren fields of the unknown, and brings a living breathing expression of Love, which embraces the mystery as it steps into thin air, unafraid and unconcerned as to where its foot will land. Intimacy takes Faith—Faith beyond words. Faith that viscerally knows all is well, that I am safe, that I am One with all of life. Even that is too many words and inadequate to describe the Faith that Intimacy knows.
I yearn to be intimate—fearlessly and recklessly intimate—with all that shows up in my life.
Intimacy is an Open Heart, a spacious mind, a body that melts into the surrounding molecules of moisture, indiscernible to the senses, but utterly intoxicating to Intimacy. Intimacy risks vulnerability without a second thought, because it knows it is intrinsically safe and that, in truth, there are no risks. Intimacy embraces fear and transforms it into Love. It is alchemy. It is the eyes of the newborn, whose unflinching gaze takes you in, into the Love it is, without apology, explanation, requirements or neediness.
Intimacy is flawlessly free,
utterly and completely.
It requires intimacy to be Awake.
It transforms the mind and lives deep within the heart.
It is the surest and sweetest path
back to the Self.
Except taken from Bare Beauty. Available on Amazon and at www.bekiart.com
I am excited to share my new book, BARE BEAUTY: my journey of AWAKENING! This poem is at the beginning of the book. I will be sharing excerpts from the book, so stay tuned. Enjoy!
I ache to see the unseen
To breathe in the scent of
I want to touch the
Beauty of your
The deepest widest part
of my being
I thirst for the color
Of sensuous rivers
Drinking in the Divine nectar
Of the Mother Earth
I lie open, bare, empty
With gentle anticipation
To be penetrated
I close my eyes
As my heart awakens
Vibrating with color
Seeping sweet syrupy
Into my veins
Watering the plants of my Garden of Eden
Gently prodding me
To open my eyes
The bare beauty of
seen and unseen
Death knocks at our doors many times in a lifetime. Death is the end of a state of being. It is more often than not, a vibrational shift, a monumental transition, or a gentle one. We are meant to die so that we can live, again and again and again, a new reality. An expanded evolved self is born of the death of what was, so that something new can emerge. Life is simply not possible without the ever-expanding, life-giving storm of death.
Each time the ending comes near, bravely step into the hurricane of energy that is whirling your way and open your arms and your heart to embrace the fullness of its offering. Feel the winds of death whip across your face and envelop your body and scream, wail and sink into the fullness of its force. Do not resist! For it will have you anyway. Dive in and feel the wholeness of it and know at the core of death is LIFE, renewed, NEW and full of the potential of all that you have ever desired. At the core of death is life and Love, the love that has no opposite but is defined by the plethora of seemingly opposing energies that are really LOVE disguised. For Love loves death as much as It loves life. It sees the Beauty of death. The end of what was, so that what is and what is being created in this very moment can emerge from the depths of the womb that hold the seeds of new life.
So I urge you to face the fear of death. Walk into the fear of your yesterday that keeps nagging at you to stay safe and stay where you are. Live beyond the limits of your fear and step into the fray of wild and whirling Love in all it’s unpredictable forms. See the truth of Love in all that shows up. The beauty that lies at the core of everything. Welcome the ending that death offers as you hold the awareness that new life emerges from this surrender, this release, the last breath of an old way.
Interestingly, just one year ago I posted a blog about navigating Hurricane Irma. Now my muse is Flo, and she inspired this expression of my inner contemplation. We keep getting the opportunity to face life’s challenges and to see how we have evolved.
Painting: The Vortex, oil on canvas by Beki
Sept. 16, 2018
Years ago I stopped watching TV and especially avoided mainstream news sources. My choice to do so was a response to my own Inner Guidance System (IGS) that is always sending signals of what actions to take and decisions to make. It is tailored for me. Indicators are offered by how I feel and the only way I can get an accurate read, is by removing myself from the outside hurricane, and enter into the stillness and quiet of my own inner connection to the Divine. Long ago, my IGS sent me the message that I was to remove myself from the outer storm in order for me to find the Eye/I of my inner being, which is Peace.
I trust that I will receive the information I need to make an aligned and wise decision, without entering the fray of media and its unsavory approach to sensationalizing the facts and science with way too much extraneous data. The media is emotionally manipulative and I simply do not want to put myself through that mental/emotional storm, especially in the middle of a literal one!
Hurricane Flo(rence)just passed us by. She whirled and danced out at sea for many many days and the mental storm began as the reporters and politicians built up the emotional drama that obscured so many of us from the simple facts of an unfolding track of when and where the storm would hit the Southeastern coast of the United States. As a resident of Charleston, SC, I am accustomed to the threats of hurricanes, and we often sit and observe the possibilities of the forces of nature heading our way, like the slave ships from the middle passage. I always feel this eery awareness of the track these hurricanes take, following a profoundly painful storm of emotion from captive African people past, traversing the Atlantic, not knowing what lied ahead. Could it be that these wild and powerful winds that take this path, are cleansing the auric field of the waters of our earth, to release the pain and trauma held in this part of the body of our great Mother?
As a vibrational healer, that uses the healing modality of Reiki, a form of healing touch, to help shift blocked energy in the body of the client, I have experienced how people store trauma in different parts of their physical and etheric bodies. The energy needs to be moved, shaken up, acknowledged, and felt, so that is can be released, transmuted, transformed. Could it be that the winds of nature are cleansing the blocked energies that are held in the earth and in the consciousness of humanity?
What I am most interested in contemplating right now, is how we can weather the emotional mental storms that come our way. How do we navigate the assaults that seem to come from outside of us and we have no control of? How do we find the peace in the chaos, and find our inner Eye/I of the hurricane?
Charleston was virtually untouched by the physical storm for the most part. A mandatory evacuation was ordered on Monday September 10th, which truly was too soon to really predict the path of Florence. Today it is Sunday, almost a week later, and we have barely gotten any rain. Hysteria began and the inner storm in the minds of the people on the coast raged, especially as they sat in front of TVs for hours of non-stop coverage, that espoused emotional language that would undoubtedly incite fear. Words like a “Beast of a storm’, ‘ a monster’, ‘the storm of a lifetime.’ I got glimpses of the onslaught. I retreated the best I could, and attempted to meditate, and listen to the Divine Guidance within me that never steers me wrong. It was challenging, but I managed pretty good, to still feel the Peace of my soul. I consulted sources that were offering information without the drama, so that we could make decisions based on fact, and not the fear-based emotions that whirled around me.
The dance of Flo was unpredictable and as it is with most forces of nature, she reminded us that we are really not in control. We can do our best to try to predict and control the world around us, but the deeper lesson for me from Flo is that I best learn to go with the flow, or I will be whirling around in a mental storm that robs me of the very Peace that I AM. Flo is a reminder of how we are always navigating these mental storms and that with intention and consciousness, we can commit to the Peace that resides at the center of all hurricanes. The peace that resides at the center of our own being. If we cultivate this commitment to Inner Peace then when we embark out into the whirling chaos of the world, we can bring this powerful force of Divine nature with us, and we can indeed have a positive influence on the climate around us.
I am grateful for Flo, and all the hurricanes of life, that prompt me to practice Peace with deep intention and focus. I am grateful that I did not need to experience the Eye of Flo this time but received her gift in a gentle way. Each of us affected by the presence of Flo whirling towards our coast, had our own personal experience. Some lives were impacted in very profound and tangible ways, with physical loss involved. More of us were pulled into the mental and emotional storm to weather in our own way.
How did you weather the storm? Can you see the gift she left at your doorstep? How will you BE the next time you encounter a storm, whether it is literal of metaphorical? I encourage you to seize this opportunity to contemplate these questions, so that you may ride the wave of the alchemy that is offered by all of life’s challenges.
I wrote this piece the morning of the afternoon that I received a call from Nana, my stepmother, letting me know that Dad’s health had taken a turn for the worse, and that I better get to Canada to see him right away. I had reservations to go in 2 weeks. Thankfully I boarded a plane the next morning and had five days of heart-wrenching, tender, sweet, blessed, and at times hilarious, moments with my beloved father. This past Monday, July 23, 2018, my dad took flight and left the body that housed the beautiful Soul of my Dad. I share this in honor of him, with deep gratitude and love, and a heart broken . . . Wide OPEN.
Dad loves to walk through nature with binoculars, not just as he climbs mountains to see far off vistas. But also, he takes them on walks through his own neighborhood, so that he can see a perspective of beauty that cannot be seen with his bare eyes. He reaches for the beauty beneath the surface of an emblazoned Fall leaf, fallen to the ground, the varied tones of color on lilies lining his house, a bee crawling deep into a bloom, the reflections of trees in the serene waves of a lake. He would be in awe at this deeper beauty that many of us pass by, unaware of what lies beneath the surface of what we see. Dad enthusiastically shares his appreciation, handing over the binoculars so I can see what he sees.
I am a visual artist, who uses paint to express a world beyond sight. I interpret the beauty of the Divine, Souls, Spirit that vibrates within and beyond this tangible world, we behold. I reach beyond what I see and I feeeeeeel this dimension of boundless Love and infinite possibilities, and I use color, shape, movement, and insight, inner sight, to express the beauty beneath and beyond the surface. I paint the essence beyond the form, of flowers and fauna. I paint the Soul, embodied by humanity, and the human enlivened by the soul.
My dad’s love of beauty, his appreciation for the deliciousness of life and his passion for the wellbeing of all people and this beloved planet, undoubtedly inspired this deep passion within me as well. This passion has blossomed into my own unique expression, through art, vibrational healing and sacred activism that aims to uncover the buried parts of another, so they can be revealed to their own bare beauty, their unique genius and gift to us all. I peer through my metaphorical binoculars and enthusiastically tell them what I see, that they cannot see, about the beauty and perfection of them.
My Dad is a passionate lover of Beauty, of Life, of humanity, of family, of the great Mother Earth. His activism is fueled by this Love. This is the way God lives and expresses Itself through my father. Through his love, felt and expressed in his own unique way, he has changed the world. He has brought more Beauty to the surface, so more of us can see and feel it with bare eyes. Dad has tirelessly toiled to raise consciousness and offer solutions to raise humanity to a place where poverty and hunger no longer hinder us from knowing the Beauty of being human.
By first seeing the pain and injustice, the flaws in the systems of society, he reaches, as I do, to unearth the Beauty of humanity and the absolute brilliance of the planet we inhabit, to inspire a deep desire for change. How can we make this world a better place for all humans, for all sentient beings, honoring the earth and recognizing the interconnection of all life?
My father, in his own unique way, has shown me this truth. The truth of Beauty beyond our wildest imagination, and the sobering reality that too many of us can’t see it. So in honor of my Dad and his beautiful, bold and brilliant spirit, let’s all get out our binoculars and commit to seeing the Beauty above and beyond, and live our lives in sacred service to sustaining and honoring this Bare Beauty in ourselves, others and in the beloved Mother that sustains us all!
BEAUTY that Lies Beneath the Surface
Reach into the truth of Beauty and you will
see and feel
the beauty that lies at the core of EVERYTHING
The cleansing waters within the tears of anguish
The joy underneath the sorrow
The love at the core of grief
The wisdom born of failure
The baby born from pain
Compassion felt from knowing suffering
Deep rest inspired by a sick body
Passion and purpose awakened
in the midst of the unacceptable
Liberation and reunion within the dying body
Life at the core of death.
Eternal life beyond the physical
Peace in the center of the storm
Joy in the midst of sorrow
Laughter in the middle of loss.
Wholeness at the deepest core of the most wounded and broken of us
Oneness in a world of individuals
Beauty is everywhere
Within everything and engulfing it ALL
It takes faith
and vision to know the Truth of the
Beauty you cannot see
But if you have the desire and the intention
I promise you,
the miracle of Beauty
will reveal itself to you
and your inner sight will be reflected in your outer vision
and together we will transform the world!
This has week has been utterly exhausting emotionally and mentally, as we and many more in the Caribbean, Florida and the South Eastern US have been watching the strongest biggest storm on record to plough its way through the waters crushing islands and threatening our safety, stuff and peace of mind.
Peace of mind is what I really want to address here. How do we cultivate an aptitude to inner peace, so that when life’s hurricanes, literally or figuratively, threaten our wellbeing, we are able to respond from peace rather than fear? Today is 9/11, an infamous day here in the US when the Twin Towers in New York City were reduced to rubble after 2 planes intentionally flew into them. It was shocking and devastating and rocked the sense of security Americans had felt in regards to such attacks. It shattered a collective sense of comfort and maybe a false peace of mind. 911 are the number we dial to call for HELP.
How can we dial directly to the help that taps into the peace of mind that allows us to weather any storm that life delivers to us? Yesterday, in the midst of this whole experience of preparing for Hurricane Irma that was slowly turning west away from us, revealing that the personal threat to our town and home would be minimal, I grappled with my own inner storm. I woke up at 3 am to find my two sons and nephew ‘mesmerized’ in playing computer games together. It triggered a mini storm in my head that I seemed incapable of quelling. My initial internal venting entailed feelings of anger, indignation, irritation, hopelessness for humanity and the obsession with these glowing screens that give us this false sense of connection with each other, but actually rob us of the connection with the organic world of human contact and the beautiful earth we inhabit. Yes I went there! As a mother of 3 sons I have grappled with this feeling of frustration around the whole issue of video games and such for 20 years. It has definitely been one of those reoccurring concerns/thorns that has contributed to taking away my Inner Peace, uncountable times. Needless to say, the inner storm amidst the outer storm robbed me of much needed sleep.
I don’t want to focus so much on the issue of glowing screens here. What I am really interested in is the inner storms that can be triggered by thousands of stressful thoughts. Usually the thought is aligned with fear. Certainly the discomfort felt in preparing for a hurricane and watching the media coverage around the storm has the potential to cause as much angst as riding out the storm itself. It is the projection of a devastating future, fear future, that grips us. With the modern conveniences of glowing screens 24 hours a day, we have this thought that somehow we can control the outcomes by listening to the confusing, mixed messages offered, whether it is about the weather or diseases or politics. We cling to the messages hoping they will provide us with the guidance that will solve the problems that face humanity. Secretly we wish for the guidance to quell the storm in our mind, possibly even more than the condition that is causing it. Of course the true guidance we seek can only be found in the silencing of the fear-based chatter and to go to the True Source of all solutions.
Suffering stems from the thoughts, not the reality. I have suffered on and off this past week as we navigated the information about this outer storm. There were times I was able to consciously focus on peace and stayed away from the media as much as possible, but still would catch wind of fearful frequencies. Well, how could I miss them. The frequencies of the fear blew as strong as Irma’s winds. We are challenged to find a way to the inner peace, the ‘I’ of the storm, that is serene amongst the mayhem of life. This is the greatest challenge of the times, I feel. The distractions are unbelievable! How can we cultivate this Inner Peace instead of feed the fire of the Inner Storm?
While I do not know what the ultimate answer is for that question, I do know that I am on a journey of answering that for myself. Each of us needs to find our own way. It is the awareness and intention that is the first step. As we become aware of the source of our inner storm as the thoughts we think, then we realize that we can intentionally redirect the thoughts. What activity or practice can support you in redirecting thoughts? I walk in nature. I write, I paint. Sometimes meditation helps. Going to sleep is miraculous. What calms your storm? What nurtures the scared inner child? What soothes you back into alignment with the Source of your True Self?
‘Peace’, oil on canvas, by Beki
When I align with Love, with the Divine, with my Inner Being, the unlimited, eternal Self I feel a deep joyful peace. When I feel this peace, I do not feel fear. The two emotions cannot abide together. I recently heard a zen monk say, ” To be fearless really is actually being peaceful.” Unconditional Love is really being able to stay aligned with Love regardless of the conditions. Unconditional Peace, Joy, Love. This is the practice that brings freedom.
When I am able to live more and more from this cultivated, intentional place of unconditional Love, Peace and Joy then not only do I benefit from this freedom, but I have a chance to affect Peace in the world around me, one person at a time. My very presence will then have the potential to quell the storm within another, and another and another.
The Solar Eclipse poised to make itself visible to the United States of America from the west to the east coast on August 21, 2017 promises to bring with it the alchemical element of Fire. Last night at Utopia, my little boutique in downtown Charleston, we hosted a ‘Spirit Talk’ with astrologist, Peter Lanzillotta, offering his observations of the significance of this auspicious celestial activity. Charleston is in the path of ‘totality’ at the most ‘dynamic’ place of the eclipse as it exits the country going off to sea. While he did not use the word ‘auspicious’ to describe this eclipse, to those of us who see the sacred alchemy in the ‘dark night of the Soul’, we sensed and felt the pregnant potential in this fiery event. He made it clear that the frequencies of this eclipse are absolutely, by virtue of the astrological calculations, a firestorm of burning potential. After presenting us with the ‘facts’ illustrated in the charts that revealed a wealth of interesting and intriguing information, we were left with more of a sense of doomsday, rather than what I expected would be a discourse in utilizing the frequencies delivered by this eclipse to initiate a powerful and alchemical transformation on both a personal and collective level.
Yet, a sweet seed of possibility was planted and the deeper awareness of what had been offered sprouted in our Awakening meeting the next morning. For 4 years a group of us have meet for 4 hours weekly to support each other on our intentional journey of Awakening. We have tilled the soil of consciousness, open-heartedness, and commitment to the raw realness that is required to transform and evolve. As we took the time to meditate on what we wanted to receive from the energies offered by this potent eclipse, we all felt the percolating excitement of this cultivated willingness to dive into the fire for the sake of alchemy. We do not shy away from the cauldron of transformation, no matter how uncomfortable it may make us feel. We know the opportunity of this CONTRACTION on a celestial level is big and powerful and if we are willing to ride the wave of its energy, we can both personally and collectively give birth to the New Way we have all been waiting for.
The Mother Moon is literally covering the Father Sun! It is engulfing the bright light of the prevailing male energies with Her frequencies of the Divine Feminine. In as little as 2.5 minutes or so the impact of this alignment of moon and sun, is said will have the potential of causing cataclysmic events across the country…and possibly globally. However, as I see it, the potential for a potent alchemical reaction is truly what is at hand.
So, the sun, has long represented the masculine energies that are expressed as active, dynamic, material, manifested, hot, dry, fiery, daytime, brightness, focused awareness. The moon, holds the frequencies of the feminine which is receptive, passive, dark, earthy, moist, cool, encompassing, diffused awareness. Think about the difference between the mother and the father.
The prevailing expression of humanity on earth has been imbalanced by male or yang energy, much to the detriment of our planet and all life on it. It is simply time for the balance to be asserted into our collective and personal evolution. If we do not embrace this balancing of the the Divine feminine, than we will not evolve. What that will look like, I do not know. I can only imagine. However it is my intention to focus on the evolution that I see and feel is possible for all of US as we embrace this transformation that the Divine Feminine will usher into our midst.
While it seems that the fiery predictions of this potent eclipse are bringing in more of the masculine frequencies, it is the burning Love of the Divine Father Sun that yields to the cool darkness of the Divine Mother Moon, that is illuminated only when darkness falls, revealing the celestial heavens, and the expanse of the Universe. When the brilliant Sun is shining we cannot see what is held within the darkness, the infinite field of possibility, the quantum realm, the heavenly Galaxies. We are immersed in the illusion of matter, that distracts us from the eternalness of our Inner Being, our Infinite nature. When basking in the illumined reality of the masculine, we are intoxicated by the manifested world to the point that we doubt that anything else beyond this even exists. We question the inner stirrings of Spirit that whisper to us of a world and a Self that expands beyond the breadth of our imaginings. Yet, the blessed Sun of our brilliant earth illuminates only the tip of the iceberg, revealing only a snippet of our Divine True Self that predominately resides within the dark, moist waters of infinite Love, expansive and vast.
This is indeed an auspicious activity of a monumental nature, that has the potential to open a portal to the Divine Feminine through the inescapable burning contractions expected when giving birth to a New Way, a New Day, a beautiful new Being that is balanced in both the energy of Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine. As we collectively transcend the limitations of being one or the other, we are birthing the new human that is a beacon of the integrated One. We are being offered the opportunity to burn away the extraneous and limiting beliefs, thoughts, patterns of polarity consciousness that imagines us as separate clumps of matter and to give birth to the Oneness Consciousness that knows the ‘hidden’ nature of our Essence, that truly is One with All that is.
Within this courageous intention to consciously walk head on into the Fire of this eclipse, we activate the positive potential of transformation that alchemy inspires, transmuting our old archaic, limited self-perception into a powerful new cosmology of an Awakened being that knows It is One with All perceiving and sensing the Unified Field in all that emerges within the manifested world of illusive separateness.
I am excited, just as I was when I prepared for the inevitable birth of my sons, 3 times, knowing that in order to bring this new life forth into this manifested world I so adore, that I would have to walk into the fire of that physical labor that each time held the mystery of the unknown. Would my baby be well, healthy, normal? Would the labor be long, short, back-breaking, easy? Would I be able to deliver naturally in the comfort of my home, or would complications arise requiring me to be transported to the hospital? Would I be able to ride the wave of each contraction with enough surrender to allow the child to come forth without too much trauma or drama? Each time I trembled uncontrollably as the waves of labor took over my body and the fear, awe and excitement was almost too much to bare. Each time I gave birth to a New Son/Sun to be the new male in a world that would, some day in the future, give birth to a New Way that can hold the human that is balanced in male/female energies and live in harmony with all the perceived others, knowing in the depths of our SOULS that there is no other…that we are man and woman and at the same time neither one, and oh so much more.
So I stand poised for this labor, of cataclysmic proportions, wise enough to know that it is simply necessary to yield, surrender, allow, the birth to take its course…to breathe through each contraction and trust…TRUST that I can do this…without drugs, conscious and awake, eyes wide open. Trust that this is a natural part of the process and ALL is well and All will be well no matter what. Trust that I can shed the parts of myself and my story that no longer serves me and I will survive the crumbling of old ways for this New Way. There is nothing to fear. This is the magical process that is as natural as breathing and at the same time as much a miracle as the birth and presence of a new born babe.
Let us enter this Eclipse, this time of transformation with Awe and reverence and courage, sweet family of the earth. Let us re-member that as we walk this earth that we are made of stardust and that we are born of both the Father Sun and the Mother Moon. As the Moon passes over the Sun, let us embrace our Divine celestial parentage and take the seat in the throne of our birthright. For we are the sons and daughters of the Divine One and we are in essence ONE with the Divine All.
I experienced a miracle two days ago. I was frantically rushing to prepare breakfast for my friends for our Monday morning (spiritual) Awakening meeting. I made a beautiful frittata, put it in the oven and with 10 minutes to spare, jumped in the shower to get myself ready for the day. I had spent too much time cleaning the porch for our meeting, and was not as peaceful in my approach to my day as I would have liked. Oh well. No big deal. Bradely was there when I came out of my room, because I left the door unlocked. I took the frittata out of the oven and started getting some other little things together as I chatted with Bradely. Without thinking about it I turned around to move the skillet over and grabbed the scorching hot, straight-out-the-oven skillet. The searing pain was immediate and I screamed and ran to my room to get the cream for the burn. My entire palm and fingertips burned like crazy. I felt the awareness of the possible severity of the burn and the limitations it would create in my life while it was healing. I also felt a flash of gratitude that it was my left hand, as I am right handed and I think about my writing and painting hand as a sacred tool for my life purpose. I lathered the cream on my hand as tears rolled down my face.
The intensity of pain was consuming. The presence of Bradley and Sherman (my husband), who was awakened by my scream, was comforting, and yet it felt like they were a foggy haze barely audible as my immediate attention was riveted by the burning sensation. My whole hand was beet red. I could not sit still and so I left my room and them and paced around for a moment and then walked out to the back porch and sat down on a soft chair and closed my eyes and began to offer myself Reiki. I pulled in the Divine Light through my crown chakra and I asked for help. I became as focused as I was when I was in labour with my second son. I did not resist the intensity of sensation by entertaining all those insidious thoughts that would have me feeling fear, limitation, self pity. I just stayed focused on the energy that I was allowing to flow through me for my healing. It occurred to me that I may have to go to my room to maintain this focus and leave my friends to meet without me, but as I held my intention, I noticed some relief, in waves. I would have moments when I felt almost normal, and then the intensity would flood my hand like a wave washing back up on shore. But it was moving and shifting and not a steady stream of unbearable sensation. This was encouraging.
There was one moment when my dear friend, Sarita, came out to check on me and after I told her I would just sit there and focus on sending my hand energy, she said with compassion, ‘I am so sorry’. For a flash moment, I teared up and felt sorry for myself, and somehow after half a lifetime of practicing to watch my thoughts and how they make me feel, I was able to shift my attention back on the healing energy that was flowing through me to my hand. Interesting. I shared that moment with them later and expressed how tricky it is to be present and compassion and empathetic for another who is experiencing pain, physical or emotional, without enabling them to stay in it. So often I have wanted another to baby me and comfort me in my condition of pain and suffering. How can we offer acknowledgement and support to another and stay with them where they are without becoming a distraction from them knowing their wellbeing and the potential for their healing? If we give the condition too much attention, are we not helping them to make it more real and solid? How do we lead them into the quantum field of infinite potential and hold the vibration of knowing in the wellbeing that is vibrating in this real realm of reality that we simply cannot see? That was quite an epiphany for me to realize and a divine lesson from this experience that I am certain is a major part of why it manifested in my experience. Pain is a human experience that is inevitable to come and go in our lives, but suffering is always optional. Gratefully, I chose not to suffer this time.
So, as they chatted cheerfully inside the house, cutting up the tomato and the honeydew melon, as they would on any other Monday, I was grateful that they were all going along as usual. It gave me the time and focus I needed to send Reiki with intention, in the silence and the healing energy of nature. The natural air and gentle breeze comforted me. I continued to ride the waves of sensation without entertaining much thought other than the simple intention to send and receive Divine Love and energy into my hand and my heart.
When Reshuet, came out on the porch with her food, I was happy to have them join me at that point. I was able to be a part of the meeting, even though at the beginning I felt like I was in an altered state. So they ate the delicious frittata responsible for my …condition… and we began to share as I stayed focused on continuing to send energy. For the 3 hours, I was able to sit with them and hold the focus which offered the perfect blend of distraction and intention. You see this group of people and I (except for my mom who was not present that day) have been meeting for 3 years for 3 hours or more every Monday with the pure intention to support ourselves and each other in our process of Spiritual Awakening. So what better environment to be in for this intensive process of healing. We have cultivated a vibration of intention and an awakened mind as a group, that was the perfect support I needed to stay in Love and not fear. I believe this is an essential ingredient in accessing the frequency that heals.
Throughout that time I noticed the redness diminishing considerably in different areas of the hand. I was able to see and feel the most intense spots on the hand where the burn was. In the cradle of my grip between the thumb and pointer finger was most painful and the other three fingertips were the most red and sensitive. All those spots looked as thought some blistering may be forming, but as I sat there, the hand began to morph. By the end of the meeting I showed them my hand. It was truly a miracle that perhaps only I will truly know and realize the significance of. Having been burned in the past I know the potential route that burns take. The painful sensations tend to linger for days and the blistering, the peeling, the redness and rawness can last for days and weeks even. I would have to avoid water and all the many activities involving water would be a challenge. I certainly would not be typing, as I am now. You know what I mean. It would offer a whole different lesson, from the one I am experiencing now.
They all could see the improvement, especially Bradely who got a good look at it in the beginning. I was pretty excited, because not only did it look good, it felt good. The burning sensation and sensitivity to the worst spots rapidly improved as I tested them by touching them. It was truly a miracle. I have never experienced anything like that! While the skin was looking better and better throughout the day, it was still a bit tender and I was wiped out. Exhausted, I took a nap. It was my nephew’s birthday and we had planned to meet them for dinner, so I rallied and went, and while I was still protective of the hand that felt like it was healing from the outside in, I was able to enjoy the evening.
By the next day my hand was completely healed. I was able to do all the things I normally do. I showered, washed some dishes, worked in my shop that was fairly busy, I typed.
The only things that I did other than the Reiki to help heal my hand, was to apply the burn cream a couple times, sip on a glass of water with Rescue Remedy in it (flower essence 5 flower blend for trauma) and for maybe 5 minutes I put some ice on it. I never like icing because of the pain I feel when I take it off.
I know for a fact that the source of my healing is primarily the intention and focus I held in order to allow the Reiki energy to flow through and to me. It was the giving and receiving of Divine Love. It was accessing the quantum realm of infinite possibility. It was supported by an environment and community that is able to access this consciousness as well. I also know that the Divine in me, the Soul of my being, and the spirit guides who have been working with me on my accelerated course for healing work with others, offered me this Divine gift to know this truth, through personal experience. If there was any doubt of the efficacy of healing touch through Reiki coupled with focus of intention, than it has been erased. For this I am deeply grateful. No more red hot holy lessons for now, please! I got it. Thank you.
Often healing is not this rapid. Most of the time it is a gradual process and I think this is because some conditions take much longer to become manifested in our bodies. It can be years and maybe even lifetimes that a condition has been developing. The body or mind then erupts with a disease or emotional state that seems to have come out of no where, but in reality it has been developing for quite some time and maybe we have ignored the earlier indicators of being out of alignment. I believe that always the condition is part of our process of awakening. It offers us the opportunity to awaken to something essential, even if it does not mean staying in the body.
An acute condition such as mine with the burn, could have been a disaster, but was addressed immediately, and was not born of an old chronic pattern of thought, but was offered as an opportunity for me to practice my healing art, my mindfulness, my faith. I give thanks that this divine opportunity was not so dramatic as the one that Dr. Dispenza author of ‘You are the Placebo’ had as a young man when he was hit by a truck while cycling in a triathlon. He broke his spine in several spots and rather than getting the surgery that would require a rod inserted into his spine and a life of chronic pain, he chose to heal himself. That was dramatic and it dramatically affected the trajectory of his life’s work. It became his Divine opportunity.
So wherever we are on this journey of awakening to the power within us to tune in to the Divine Light, the Quantum field, the Source of all creation, God’s healing love and all that it has to offer us, we are all already there in some way, because it is this Energy that we are made of. It is the essence of our being and with awareness, faith and practice, we can access it whenever we desire. This is when miracles happen and the magic of our life will delight us with unending expressions of our Divine nature and our deep sweet connection to all of Life…even when it comes in the form of a blistering burn on the hand to be healed in a miraculous way.
The following is a beautiful transmission offered to me by my Divine Guidance while I am in my own Akashic Records. Often I open my records and then ask a question to the Masters, Teachers and Loved Ones and then ‘channel’ the answer by writing in my journal. This has been a wonderful and enlightening practice that I have been doing for many years now. It has been very helpful in accessing a deeper wisdom that really is at the core of my being. My Guides work with me to unveil my own knowing. For this I am very grateful. Yesterday was Mother’s Day 2016. This is how I began my day. Sitting on my back porch surrounded by my personal garden paradise, I take a moment to meditate and then open the Akashic Records.
Me: I am feeling an underlying sadness. Not sure what it is all about. Woke up with a little pang of anxiety, something I have not felt in a really long time. I would appreciate your help so I can get some clarity.
MTLO (Masters, Teachers, Loved Ones): Blessings dear child. You are entering a phase of deep remembering. You are holding the heart of mother’s in yours. It is heavy with both sorrow and love. Mother’s weep everywhere for the awakening of this planet’s inhabitants. The Mother Earth holds you all with deep love and care and yet she is incensed by your wild adolescent disregard, your narcissism that renders her lands disrespected.
She is shedding the old you, like the lizard, green like spring leaves, sheds it old skin. She is shaking you up, opening your hearts and piercing the shield that has inebriated your mind, keeping you from recognizing your Soul.
Your Great Mother loves you Unconditionally and embraces the essence of humanity in her massive brown body, weighed down by the waters of her deep blue sea of tears.
She will not forsake you in your childish tantrums, but she will coax you awake with her winds and fires and trembling lands. And if you continue your flailing and screaming your rants of fear, separation, possessiveness, she will erupt mountain tops to bring you back to your senses.
You sense the mother that weeps for her children, as you carry the imprint of the mother gene in every living cell of your body. You know and feel the aching of the earth and your human sisters that yearn for your children to Awaken to the Love that they are. You know the deep desire that the Mother holds to feed her children all that nourishes their bodies, minds and souls.
The Mother Soul you inhabit is not just the human individual self that strives to balance this sacred role on earth, but she is the collective Soul that sits in the core of the earth and is born of the Divine Feminine.
This Mother Soul is wild and sensual, fierce and determined. She is soft and nurturing, steady and committed. She is utterly creative and her strength is unrivaled in the Universe.
Today on this day that the Mother is honored, you feel her Heart in your heart and your desire to weep is the yearning to release all the fullness that overflows the great breadth of her loving chalice.
Your own vessel cannot hold the massiveness of love and gratitude that you feel for the Mother Soul. It cannot contain the tendrils of her Love that reach out like roots extending to the core of the earth.
You yourself born of mother, belong to the mother, just as you are mother yourself. The intricate web of love embodied by the Divine Feminine courses through your veins and roots you to her heart.
Surrender to her, for she will nurture you and guide you and prepare you for your flight. Let go and trust, for she is the bridge between the Unlimited Divine and the brilliant flesh of life. She will show you how to live on earth embodied by your Soul. She will show you the Divine, living within the manifested world.
And when you surrender to her love, her wisdom, you will at last, be free!
Happy Mother’s Day beautiful Soul Mother. We honor and celebrate you in all ways!
For my 40th birthday, Sherman, my husband, gave me the best gift ever. He designed and self published a book of my art. I had been saying I needed to do this for years. I had many of my paintings already photographed. He managed to do it without me knowing. I was shocked and moved and very grateful. I was able to go back into the program he created it in and edit the book, as he knew I would want to. I added poetry and paintings, and yet the original was beautiful and complete unto itself.
The title of the book is Peace and Passion. I feel like those two words truly encompass the essence of my art as well as my personal approach to life. Not so long ago I wrote this poem:
Peace and Passion
I am passionate about Peace
it is the essence of what I desire more than anything else…
the sensation of peace
Peace is a passionate place
that resides deep
in the red hot crevices
of my heart
It is soothing
It is sexy and expansive
It is ecstasy
and the deep sleep
that follows a passionate
It is the place
It is commitment
to the innermost
that when we touch it
we open to
the most ecstatic
F R E E D O M
Passion without Peace
is an amputation
a limb without the body to
into the lush
Passion without Peace
without a place to land
when the wings are weary.
Passion is Peace
the expression of all that Peace knows
They are the yin and the yang of each other
I choose Peace
and then may the wings of Passion
into the unknown realms
that Peace would have me know
render me helpless
to control its joy
its vast, endless, bottomless pit
May Peace surrender me to Passion
and may Passion
open my heart
All that Is