The Inner Hurricane

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‘Eye of the Storm” oil on canvas, Beki

This has week has been utterly exhausting emotionally and mentally, as we and many more in the Caribbean, Florida and the South Eastern US have been watching the strongest biggest storm on record to plough its way through the waters crushing islands and threatening our safety, stuff and peace of mind.

Peace of mind is what I really want to address here. How do we cultivate an aptitude to inner peace, so that when life’s hurricanes, literally or figuratively, threaten our wellbeing, we are able to respond from peace rather than fear? Today is 9/11, an infamous day here in the US when the Twin Towers in New York City were reduced to rubble after 2 planes intentionally flew into them. It was shocking and devastating and rocked the sense of security Americans had felt in regards to such attacks. It shattered a collective sense of comfort and maybe a false peace of mind. 911 are the number we dial to call for HELP.

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How can we dial directly to the help that taps into the peace of mind that allows us to weather any storm that life delivers to us? Yesterday, in the midst of this whole experience of preparing for Hurricane Irma that was slowly turning west away from us, revealing that the personal threat to our town and home would be minimal, I grappled with my own inner storm. I woke up at 3 am to find my two sons and nephew ‘mesmerized’ in playing computer games together. It triggered a mini storm in my head that I seemed incapable of quelling. My initial internal venting entailed feelings of anger, indignation, irritation, hopelessness for humanity and the obsession with these glowing screens that give us this false sense of connection with each other, but actually rob us of the connection with the organic world of human contact and the beautiful earth we inhabit. Yes I went there! As a mother of 3 sons I have grappled with this feeling of frustration around the whole issue of video games and such for 20 years. It has definitely been one of those reoccurring concerns/thorns that has contributed to taking away my Inner Peace, uncountable times. Needless to say, the inner storm amidst the outer storm robbed me of much needed sleep.

I don’t want to focus so much on the issue of glowing screens here. What I am really interested in is the inner storms that can be triggered by thousands of stressful thoughts. Usually the thought is aligned with fear. Certainly the discomfort felt in preparing for a hurricane and watching the media coverage around the storm has the potential to cause as much angst as riding out the storm itself. It is the projection of a devastating future, fear future, that grips us. With the modern conveniences of glowing screens 24 hours a day, we have this thought that somehow we can control the outcomes by listening to the confusing, mixed messages offered, whether it is about the weather or diseases or politics. We cling to the messages hoping they will provide us with the guidance that will solve the problems that face humanity. Secretly we wish for the guidance to quell the storm in our mind, possibly even more than the condition that is causing it. Of course the true guidance we seek can only be found in the silencing of the fear-based chatter and to go to the True Source of all solutions.

Suffering stems from the thoughts, not the reality. I have suffered on and off this past week as we navigated the information about this outer storm. There were times I was able to consciously focus on peace and stayed away from the media as much as possible, but still would catch wind of fearful frequencies. Well, how could I miss them. The frequencies of the fear blew as strong as Irma’s winds. We are challenged to find a way to the inner peace, the ‘I’ of the storm, that is serene amongst the mayhem of life. This is the greatest challenge of the times, I feel. The distractions are unbelievable! How can we cultivate this Inner Peace instead of feed the fire of the Inner Storm?

While I do not know what the ultimate answer is for that question, I do know that I am on a journey of answering that for myself. Each of us needs to find our own way. It is the awareness and intention that is the first step. As we become aware of the source of our inner storm as the thoughts we think, than we realize that we can intentionally redirect the thoughts. What activity or practice can support you in redirecting thoughts? I walk in nature. I write, I paint. Sometimes meditation helps. Going to sleep is miraculous. What calms your storm? What nurtures the scared inner child? What soothes you back into alignment with the Source of your True Self?

peacePeace’, oil on canvas, by Beki

When I align with Love, with the Divine, with my Inner Being, the unlimited, eternal Self I feel a deep joyful peace. When I feel this peace, I do not feel fear. The two emotions cannot abide together. I recently heard a zen monk say, ” To be fearless really is actually being peaceful.” Unconditional Love is really being able to stay aligned with Love regardless of the conditions. Unconditional Peace, Joy, Love. This is the practice that brings freedom.

When I am able to live more and more from this cultivated, intentional place of unconditional Love, Peace and Joy then not only do I benefit from this freedom, but I have a chance to affect Peace in the world around me, one person at a time. My very presence will then have the potential to quell the storm within another, and another and another.

 

 

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PEACE AND PASSION

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For my 40th birthday, Sherman, my husband, gave me the best gift ever. He designed and self published a book of my art. I had been saying I needed to do this for years. I had many of my paintings already photographed. He managed to do it without me knowing. I was shocked and moved and very grateful. I was able to go back into the program he created it in and edit the book, as he knew I would want to. I added poetry and paintings, and yet the original was beautiful and complete unto itself.

The title of the book is Peace and Passion. I feel like those two words truly encompass the essence of my art as well as my personal approach to life. Not so long ago I wrote this poem:

Peace and Passion

I am passionate about Peace
it is the essence of what I desire more than anything else…
the sensation of peace

Peace is a passionate place
that resides deep
in the red hot crevices
of my heart

It is soothing
and sensuous
It is sexy and expansive
It is ecstasy
and the deep sleep
that follows a passionate
release.

It is the place
felt
after resistance
yields
to surrender.

It is commitment
to the innermost
intimate place
that when we touch it
we open to
the most ecstatic
passionate

F R E E D O M

Passion without Peace
is an amputation
a limb without the body to
ground it

into the lush
yummy
silence

Passion without Peace
is flight
endless flight
without a place to land
when the wings are weary.

Passion is Peace
the expression of all that Peace knows
They are the yin and the yang of each other

I choose Peace
first
and then may the wings of Passion
carry me
into the unknown realms
that Peace would have me know

then….
may Passion
open me
render me helpless
to control its joy
its vast, endless, bottomless pit
of Love….expressed

May Peace surrender me to Passion
and may Passion
open my heart
fearlessly to
All that Is

All
that
Is!

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Compassion

IMG_2584This is an excerpt from my unpublished book, a spiritual memoir about Awakening.

Compassion is a feeling, an e-motion that moves us into connection with another that is suffering. Compassion dares to wade in the water of pain to touch the one who is submersed, unsure of whether she will drown. It caresses her and sits with her in the watery depths of despair, breathing enough oxygen for both of them, being mindful to keep its head above the water. Compassion is fearless in its willingness to be present in the pain that so often elicits humanity to its threshold. It knows its connection to Divine sustenance, and takes that knowing with it when it enters the frays of human disconnection. It leans into the dark hole of forgetfulness, connecting to its own humanness to connect the one who weeps, to the world of infinite love and wisdom. Compassion sits comfortably with the sadness and holds gently the bereaved. It opens human heart to hold the fullness of her sweet pain and transforms it into the Love that it truly is.

Compassion is the human expression of Divine Love. It is the delicious connection to humanity and sensation. It is the flesh of love that binds us to each other. It offers the visceral awareness that we are truly One.

The challenge with compassion arises when we unconsciously choose compassion over alignment with Source/Self. While compassion delivers us to the heart and soul of human connection, if we are not awake in our empathy, we may drown in a perception of another’s pain forgetting not only their intrinsic wellbeing that lies at the core of all beings, but we may be swept away in the current of another’s disconnection, risking our own stability which is often the very thing necessary to support the other in their resurfacing and realignment with their True Self. We must temper our propensity to dive into the depths of someone else’s despair when our nature leans towards compassion, and remember to keep our head above water.

I notice when I am feeling lost and unaligned that the peaceful strong energy of my mother, my husband, a friend, is much more comforting than someone who commiserates with me in my story of pain. Yet, I do not want them to pull me out of my emotions with the likes of a cheerleader on the sidelines coaxing me to joy, prematurely. I am grateful when they step into the space where I am, with their love and reverence for the process I am experiencing, honoring my pain, but not joining it. I am grateful when they sit quietly as I weep and I can feel their strong knowing that I am well, that I will feel well again, even when it seems impossible to me in that moment.

I choose to cultivate within me, this perfect blend between the compassion that dares to lean into the heart of human suffering and the mindfulness of staying awake and connected while reaching into this space of dark beauty, staying grounded in knowing the wellbeing of the other and of myself. I choose to be intimate with life, with my human nature, and I choose to be fierce in my commitment to alignment with my Divine nature. As I continue the practice of Unconditional Love, that knows love in all conditions, I am confident that my ability to remain in alignment while compassionately connecting with another who is not, will grow and blossom.

Rich Mother

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Rich mother
With very little money
Rich
Regardless of the condition of money being present.

Like unconditional love
Love,
Regardless of the conditions that are present.

A mother who taught me what it is to be rich
With or without the tangible manifestation of
Money.

She teases about going to the ‘Ocean Course’,
When I am taking care of her
When she becomes to…something…to take care of herself.
We laugh that I may put her on a budget and
That the extravagance of the plush beach resort restaurant
Will be too much for me to afford for her.

My heart smiles
And I think what a joy, pleasure and honor it would be to
Take her to her favorite place that feeds her soul
with food drenched in island sun
and an eyeful of sea-full splendor.

To be rich is to know you are worthy
Of such beauty
Such art
Regardless of how much money you have in your wallet or bank account.

To be rich is to live in a humble dwelling
and make it into a royal palace
of sacred opulent beauty
Infused with the divine
Emanating from objects reflecting consciousness
Art on every wall
Created by her
By me
Her grandson.

To be rich is to wake up each morning in this beautiful
Warm glow of spirit
Surrounding
Enveloping
And oozing from
you
Her
me.

To be rich is to know how to live Unconditional Love
To Love without condition
aware of
Connected to
The Divine Love
That we all are
No matter what shows up in our experience.

Opulence beyond your imagination
Living from the very core of your Soul
Where we are in communion with the realm of the Divine,
The Infinite Field of Possibility and Unconditional Love.

This is the rich soil
From which my being originates
In the dark soil of the Great Mother
and the sweet awakening spirit
Of the earth mother
Who knew her worth at a core level
Even when she was not aware of it.

So yes
My sweet matriarch, crone and wise woman
I will take you to the beautiful place that makes your heart sing
And I will breathe in the scent of salt air
and savor the bread pudding
Soaking up the sweet spirit of your soul
That has nurtured and given me permission to be
Worthy of the deep, delicious connection with my soul.

Life is so Rich
I can barely contain myself!

(The picture is of my mother with her 3 daughters)

The Magic of BACH FLOWER ESSENCES

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“Healer” oil on canvas

 

I discovered the amazing magical energies of the Flower Essences several years ago when I was looking for some relief from emotions related to patterns of thought that caused fear, worry and anxiety within me. I had been worrying about my oldest son since he was a baby. I thought maybe it was normal to worry and be fearful for his wellbeing…the mother disease. While he definitely inspired more reasons later on in his life to make me worry, I realized with my other two sons that the chronic worry I had developed with the first son, was not nearly as acute with them.

So in a quest to find a natural way to bring harmony and balance for both myself and my son, I came upon the flowers! I couldn’t believe that it took so long for Life to bring them to me. I have been painting the ‘essence’ of flowers for 20 years or more, and then they came to me in the form of miracle drops. Some people think that they are essential oils or aromatherapy, but they are more like homeopathy, that you take internally. They could be qualified as vibrational medicine, which is completely natural and safe and can be used as a complementary treatment. As I studied more about them and learned the philosophy of the creator of the essences, Dr. Edward Bach, I was hooked. I wanted to know more. So I immersed myself in the information available and invested in a kit of all the 38 remedies and started treating myself, my family and friends. Eventually, through word of mouth, more people asked for consultations and now the ‘practice’ has evolved to include an integrative healing session with the Flowers, using guidance through the Akashic Records, and Reiki. I have always loved to support people in their process of healing and awakening to their true self. Now I have a creative and beautiful way to enter into sacred space with others and offer them a way to find some relief from life’s many stressors.

The Bach Flowers are very specific in treating different aspects of disharmony that plague the human mind. The remedy that offered me relief from the chronic worry for my son was Red Chestnut. Mimulus helped me work through fears, particularly of public speaking, combined with Larch for confidence. I offered pine to my youngest son, as he was always feeling responsible for anything the went wrong, even if he had nothing to do with it. Pine is for self-blame and offers the ability to feel more self-compassion. The flowers work on the subtle vibrational body, by flooding the ‘virtuous’ qualities into the energy field of the person and gently shifting the pattern into one that is in harmony and alignment with the True Self, our Soul. The process can be gradual but profound as it was for me. Sometimes it is dramatic and immediate. The effects can be long lasting and permanent. They also can cure the chronic pattern, even though you may occasionally feel worry for instance, but in a more situational way.

So what I offer with my clients is a consultation and healing experience that helps us to determine the perfect mix of flowers to support them in shifting into an experience with life that offers more joy, ease, freedom, purpose, authenticity, peace, creativity. The possibilities for what alignment looks like for one is endless and so exciting. Like the Soul Portrait, the unfolding through Divine guidance and deep compassion, is utterly creative and magical.

Please give me a call if you are interested in experiencing this magical transformation!

~beki

Www.bekiart.com

SOUL Portraits for Others

 

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Now that you know the origins of my first Soul portrait, I would like to share with you the evolution of this approach to my art and the manifestations of Soul Portraits that are painted while intentionally opening the Akashic Record of the individual for the purpose of bringing forth an image that reflects the essence of their Soul. It is so powerful to go beyond the form that we have identified with and for most of us have become attached to as an expression of who we really are.

The Soul portrait, in a sense, frees us from this limited self perception and takes us beyond our prejudices and cultural, societal conditioning. Each portrait is uniquely created and inspired by your Soul through me. I am the channel, the vehicle through which this visual communication flows. I am utterly amazed, humbled and delighted by what emerges on the canvas. I am deeply honored and aware of the sacred journey I am on as I move into this Divine Realm of the Akashic Field. Each experience with the process is unique and the sensation in my body as well as my approach to creating the piece is distinctly different with each portrait. I have no idea what will emerge. I am curious that not one has come forth as completely abstract, yet, although I suspect it may at some point.

What I do feel certain of is that what comes forth is purely Divine in nature and is specifically for the one that I am painting it for. The message that their Soul desires to offer them comes through in the perfect way in which it will speak intimately to them. It’s offering will be ongoing and layered as one lives with the portrait, as it is vibrational in nature and will take one beyond the visual, while using the tangibility of the image at the same time, to transform and awaken.

I am sharing with you some samples of the Soul Portraits that I also have published on my website with pictures of the human version of them along with a statement by them about their experience with the Soul Portrait. Included is my Soul self-portrait that I was instructed to create, while in my own Akashic Records, as my first assignment for beginning this work for others. I received this ‘idea’ and guidance by my own Masters through the Records, while in session with my wonderful and deeply tuned-in healer and mentor, Chrys Franks.

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If you think you would be interested in having your Soul painted in this profound way, please email me or give me a call for more information.
Bekicrowell@hotmail.com
843~460~4077

AWAKENING : my first Soul Portrait

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I am very excited to be starting my first blog as I am launching my new website to reflect my personal, spiritual and professional evolution over the past 10 years since I created my last website that was a showcase for my work as an artist. Now, I embark on a powerful new chapter in my life as I bring together my passion for spiritual matters, vibrational healing, Awakening to your Divine Self, creative and artistic expression through writing and painting. I feel as though I have come to a crossroads where all my interests have found a synergy like never before. Launching my new website http://www.bekiart.com is my way of really stepping in to this new innovative approach to my work and what I feel is truly my life purpose.

My name is Beki. I am in my 50th year of life, in this physical incarnation and I am feeling that this will be one of the most amazing ones yet! I have been creating art my whole life. When I was 17 years old, I painted the piece of art that made me know that I was an ‘artist’. You may think this is rather young, but already I had sold some pieces while in high school and had been in a couple art shows. I went to high school in Nassau, Bahamas where my mom was my art teacher. I graduated when I was 16 and was in University in Windsor, Ontario, where my dad taught social ethics and human rights, when I began my divine journey into ‘Soul Art’.

I went to visit my mom in Ohio, where she lived at the time, and she instructed me to paint without using a reference to copy from. She called it the ‘meditative method’. Essentially she asked me to paint purely for the process and not the end product. She gave me a walkman with earphones, canvas on an easel, paints and left the house. The magic words were, ‘and you don’t even have to show it to me when you are done’. That freed me up. I really had not realized how much my self-worth was wrapped up in receiving praise from my art.

I went into a meditation, which she had trained us to do in high school, but I rarely did, turned up the music and got lost in another dimension. I painted for three hours completely present to the moment.  I felt this freedom and exhilaration as I watched  the image emerge on the canvas. I had found my authentic voice and it was one that came from what I now know is my SOUL. Once my soul found her way to my canvas she never left me. I never went back to the old way of creating art for approval and the more realistic approach to painting quickly dwindled. This was truly the beginning of my creating Soul Art, painting from the soul for the soul. Every time I sat to the blank canvas I opened up to this Divine force, and waited for the guidance. It always came, and what I noticed was that the more I ‘got out of the way’ the happier I was with the process and the creation.

At the time I named this painting ‘Silent Scream’ and more recently renamed her ‘Awakening’. Interestingly, while her scream was inaudible, my Soul had found her voice in the bold, fierce, sensual, intensity that was undeniably palpable and wildly vibrant! She would be seen and felt from this point on. Now, from my evolved vantage point, I realize that this image reflects the ‘Awakening’ that had occurred in me in that moment. I had become Awakened to my very own Soul.

My artistic process has been the most invaluable tool in preparing for the work I have embarked on and am now ready to share with you and the world. Little did I know that day in my mom’s small kitchen studio, 33 years ago, that I had painted my first Soul (self)Portrait, and that I would be divinely guided to create Soul Portraits for others so that they could be revealed and Awakened to their Divine Self for their healing and spiritual evolution in the most profound and creative way.

The way in which I am able to activate this unique process is by accessing the Soul of the person by opening their Akashic Record for the purpose of creating this portrait. I have been training in this work for many years through ‘spirit writing’ and more recently have been practicing this work while consulting people with the Bach Flower Essences. The Akashic Records essentially are an etheric ‘record’ of the soul, from inception, containing the information of all thoughts, feelings and actions, past present and potential future. While my access to the Divine Realm during painting is completely natural and assured, this ritual of opening the Records is extremely powerful and poignant in accessing the specific information for this particular being.

The irony of this latest development in my artistic and spiritual evolution, is that I specifically stayed away from the notion of painting portraits, because I felt it was too much about pleasing others by creating a depiction of them that they were happy with. After my Awakening with my art, I never again painted for approval and portrait art seemed the antithesis of my Soul art. You see, my mother is a brilliant portrait artist. She is able to capture more than the outer appearance of her subject and truly has a gift of bringing forth the inner being while creating a realistic rendition of their physical self. She even created a process called portrait therapy, that engages the person during the process of creating their emerging image on canvas. Still, I had an aversion to the thought of doing a commissioned piece of work, especially a portrait, because people can really get caught in their ego when it comes to self image.

Well obviously, the Universe had different plans for me, and found a way to bring my work to the personal and intimate exchange with another through the egoless approach to portrait art by surpassing the human physical image altogether and entering the magical realm of depicting the ethereal and intangible Soul Self in a palpable visual and utterly creative expression. In truth, I am channeling the Soul’s depiction of Itself for itself. In order to receive the fullness and potency of this offering, the ego must be set aside. Profound reunion with your Soul is then possible.

So this is just one aspect of the brilliant unfolding and Awakening that is occurring in my life right now, and I look forward to sharing more with you in this blog format as well as through my new website that my wonderful and creative husband, Sherman helped me to create. I am so blessed and grateful to all those who have shared in this beautiful journey of this human experience with me and for the divine guidance that has always been with me and that I am becoming more and more aware of each day.

Please go to my beautiful website and explore the wonders of vibrant color, sensual expressions, spiritual healing and inspired evolution. There, you will see samples of the Soul portraits and more.

http://www.bekiart.com

In deep gratitude for the Divine realm of infinite possibility and Unconditional Love

beki