The Ego

My Ego, Oil on canvas, By Beki

9.9.20

Could it be that we have been making the ego the villain in our ongoing drama of this story of separation with the Soul as the hero? If we would only remember the truth of who we really are, the Soul, then we could dissolve the ego like the bad witch in the Wizard of Oz. I know that we are doing our best with words to understand, contemplate, and make sense of this reality that we are navigating. The many philosophers, intellectuals, scientists, shamans, religious scholars, artists etc. strive to offer their own versions of what all this Life could be about. 

But could it be that all the versions are a story, a metaphor, an analogy to describe the indescribable. Even science, the purveyor of irrefutable provable reality, is in truth an art, a philosophy that keeps evolving and producing the most beautiful new discoveries and inventions. If only we could appreciate the creativity and innovation that emerges from these deep thinkers without needing to make it right to justify its value, perhaps we could make space for the validity of all. 

So I would like to tell a new story about the ego. The Ego feels very unappreciated these days, particularity within the spiritual arena that speaks about burning, dissolving, and letting the ego die. Of course we have used the term loosely as a way to describe people who are ‘full of themselves’, arrogant, and braggadocios as having a particularity big ego. It is the ‘unspiritual’ part of the self and tends to be considered a hinderance for liberation. It is pretty much always used as a derogatory term and therefore has fallen into the role of villain. 

However I would like to consider the idea that the Ego is the human self, the part of our consciousness that we merge with when our Soul enters the physical body. The Ego understands that it must work with the Soul to show It how to navigate the physical dimension of polarity, gravity, and limitation. This is not the domain of the Soul, who is by nature unlimited, eternal, and infinite. Yet, our Souls choose to be limited within these parameters for a very good reason or we would not be here. This physical world is BEAUTIFUL and full of potential and possibility. It allows for the most sensuous and delicious experiences that require the container that these limitations offer. Limitations such as: a mortal, physical body that can feel pain and pleasure and everything else; the inability to walk through walls so that you can touch them and feel the boundary between you and another; otherness, so that you can see, touch, hug, dance, kiss, make love with a separate being. Don’t even let me get started with the intoxication of the physical senses! 

I think we can all agree that there are many assets to embodying a human being. Yet, we can all see the limitations and the heartache that it causes are equal to the ecstasy. It seems as though we have become so identified with the physical human self that we have forgotten our divine nature that knows our magnificence beyond the limitations of this dimension. We had forgotten that this was a choice and that we are more than this identity, body and this life. In this forgetting of this essential essence of our Being, we became overly identified with the Ego aspect of our being and without the conscious partner of the Soul driving the ship, our Egos jumped into the drivers seat to save the day. 

Whose fault was it, when the Soul seemed to disappear, fall asleep or get knocked unconscious? I think it is the nature of the Ego, that lives from separation consciousness, to ask that question and to argue and justify. Without the Soul present to infuse the frequency of Divine Love this story of separation takes over and we begin the slippery slope down this hellish hole of life without the Soul. 

Yet, the great awakening that we have been dreaming of is upon us. It is the awakening to the essence of the Soul, not just in ourself, but in all Life. ALL of it. At the beginning of this awakening we saw the ego as the problem. It seemed that when it took over all hell broke loose across the earth: corruption, famine, genocide, slavery, deforestation, devastating climate change, polluting of the soil, air and water and so on, and so on. Soulless humans running the show! 

Could it be that the human self, the Ego, got a bad rap. I would like to contemplate another story for a moment. The Souls of humanity choose this experiment of stepping back, letting the Egos take a go at it on their own. Maybe our Souls wanted this particular probability played out to know what it is like to be simply human-identified and feel the full amnesia from the Inner Divine perspective, and then to wake back up to this realization of the truth of who we really are; to forget to remember. 

From our human perspective this seems like a horrible idea! The Ego didn’t ask for this solo gig. It could not even be alive without the breath of spirit giving it life, so why would it want to be alone in an already lonely, separate mind? I have weaved this story, not as truth, but as way for myself to begin to perceive the Ego as something that I can appreciate, love and incorporate as a crucial aspect of my being. As I dismantle the old story of separation and polarity, I aim to allow a new story of interconnection and oneness to arise. It is pushing its way through my mind and my words as I contemplate the ego in a new way. 

My ego and my human-embodied soul are co-pilots on a grand adventure. They need each other. They are indeed apart of each other. When the Soul leaves the body the human self succumbs to the limitations of the physical dimension and re-emerges with the earth-body, Gaia, from which it came. The Soul returns to the spacious infinite dimension among the stars. The love affair comes to an end and the ache for this dance remains forever in the heart of the Soul and the body of the earth. 

In a time and a space within the lush garden of earth a precious and beautiful expression of the Infinite Source of Love entered the womb of a woman, native to this land. The womb was a new and foreign world to the Soul that felt the tangible sensation of its mother’s inner body. The slow and gradual awakening of its senses were fascinating to the soul as it merged with the growing body in the belly. The body carried the imprint of the mother and father and the bodies and minds of the humans that came before. The genetic material gave a unique blend of qualities to create a distinct physical expression of all that came before in the bodies that enable this body to emerge in the particular way it did. 

When this new being emerged from the body of the mother, it felt the familiar energy of the other humans that surrounded it for the first time in a way that it could perceive them as separate energies and shapes and colors and sounds. The explosion of senses was mind-blowing.  But the most stunning was the vision of the mother that it had only knew from within, as a part of her. The beauty and strangeness of her being separate from the body it knew as itself was, well, unsettling to say the least. So it slept, a lot, dreaming of the oneness that it knew as most natural. 

Soon the newborn noticed another energy gently prodding it awake. It whispered in its ear. You are a girl, you are a baby, you are brown and soft and smell like roses. You are magic and I am here to show you how to walk among humans. I will show you how to live in a body and keep it safe. I am your soul’s mate. I am Ego, at your service. She flutters her eyes open with excitement and recognition. Oh yes, this is why I have come: to be human and live within the world of form. My Ego is my mate and together we will be able to navigate a life of possibility, wonder, adventure. We are on the leading edge of creation. 

She feels safe with Ego, even though she never knew what feeling unsafe felt like. Earth is native territory for Ego. It knows the ropes and senses into the lineage that vibrate from the human body’s cells newly activated by this unique expression of Divine Energy. Ego knows how to utilize the strengths and weaknesses that it inherited in the body it inhabits. It diligently begins to train the Energy of the Soul on how to use this body and environment to best create and explore the world around it. Ego loves the scent of roses that the Soul brought with her. It is unearthly somehow and full of mystery. It feels sacred and familiar at the same time. Perhaps this body holds the memory of a time when rituals of Love were practiced in the body. The ego feels the memory and opens with a sigh of ease. 

Ego feels at home with the body, as Soul adjusts to the incredibly limiting range of motion. While she is often frustrated by the helpless little body she has merged with, she is full of awe and wonder as she senses the world from the body with sight, sound, touch, taste and scent. It is both bliss and hell all at once, with waves of ecstasy and pangs of intense fear weaving through the the matrix of the human experience. The Soul is fully present with it all, curious and enthralled by this strange and wonderful world. Ego takes her hand and navigates the fearless soul through the complexities of the human body and psyche and the physical dimension it is one with. A great friendship is being forged as this wild ride begins and then somehow, someway, one day something changed, and they lost each other along the way. 

Without the Soul the Ego was lifeless, desperate and callous. Everything was about survival. She was always anxious and worried and felt like she needed to prove her worth so that she would be loved, safe, alive. She needed to keep everyone in her life safe too, so she would be taken care of. Her body felt heavy and cumbersome. The inner flame was dim, for Soul could not be completely gone or Ego would die. There was just enough memory of her glowing warmth to keep going, trudging through life the best she could. 

Without the Ego, the Soul was groundless. She was unable to fulfill her life’s mission to really experience and know the dimension of form and the beauty that comes with this union when embodying the human. She felt restless for felt connection, intimacy expressed, creation manifested. She yearned to know what she came to earth to know and needed her co-pilot to navigate this earthly terrain that felt so strange and beautiful. 

After eons of separation living in worlds that either exalted or worshiped one or the other or disregarded, ignored, disowned or demonized one or the other,  they remembered that they need each other. They bravely stood up and called forth this union, in spite of the naysayers and the tugging and pulling from one side or the other. They decided that no other relationship is more important than this original union when the soul embodied  human. And with one bold and radical act of Love the two merged together as one, and something magically miraculous occurred.  

This reconciliation rippled through the Universe and across planet earth and the new human soul emerged. And on that day a new story was born, and the old one faded away. In this story spirit and matter are one. Everything is imbued with the divine. The Ego is honored as the wonderful earth guide that it is and the Soul is recognized as the revered guest of honor in the world of form. She is the artist in residence that innovates, inspires and ignites, creating beauty and meaning everywhere she goes. She is brilliant and adventurous and fearless and yet deeply respects the advice of her wise and practical guide that teaches her the human qualities that have evolved over millennia, as the body has learned to adapt to the ever changing environment within the earth plane.  Neither ego or soul is considered more important or sacred than the other in this New Earth that was born from the powerful desire demonstrated that fateful day when the Union of Human Ego and Divine Soul was restored.

Oneness, interconnection, unity consciousness flourished across the land and the golden age of Beauty and Bounty began and continues on into eternity. For the memory of the great division and the sorrow and pain it caused is etched in the DNA of each new human body that becomes embodied by Soul. It serves to remind us so we may know our worth with humility and courage as we forge forward and onward on this grand great adventure we call Life. 

Www.bekiart.com

Bring Out the Tool Box

Received from the Akashic Records of Humanity on 4/2/2020. during the times of COVID-19

MAIN POINTS:

~Use your tools to help you navigate this time. Share them and learn new ones from others, that resonate with you.

~Utilize the creativity and wisdom from those beings who were once human in near past, to receive insight and inspiration to navigate these times. Loved Ones, ancestors, creatives, masters of their craft, all have much to offer from their new vantage point. 

~Be you. This is your greatest gift to yourself and to the collective. We need you to step in!

It is time to bring out the tool box and use all that you have learned along your path that has served you and put them into good use now. All of the emotional tools, the spiritual practices, the physical practices that keep you aligned, balanced, healthy and at ease. Each human will be charged to access what they know, and follow that inner knowing. It will not be the same for everyone but there will be groups of people that will find solace, connection and purpose within similar practices. 

So, by all means share your tools with others, and you may be an inspirer, reminder and/or resonator with others who are feeling overwhelmed at this time. Speak up and out to inspire what you aspire to in yourself. For some it will be to find a place of deep peace, and faith. Others, a sense of purpose, found through work or creative self expression. Some will seek a way to be in service, and some will be looking for the transformation of an old way.

Allow yourself to become aware of what it is you seek to experience in this period of collective contraction. Everyone is moving through this birth canal together in their own way, and some are still in gestation and others are close to crowning but no one has yet emerged. There will be waves of undulating contractions which will propel this process. Trust in the process and utilize the tools that you have garnered and share them with others who may have been asleep in the past and are just waking up to the shock of this evolutionary wave. 

Some of the tools are meditation, mindfulness practices, good nutrition, exercise, gratitude practices, dance and other forms of creative movement, artistic practices of all kinds, activating creativity, sexual connection with your beloved. Grounding, earthing and connecting to the earth is critical and will be a profound way to transmute fear frequencies. So these tools will be invaluable for you to activate and share. It will also be a time to receive from others new ways of feeling aligned to the Essence of All of Life, the Source, and to your own Divine Self. 

As you receive and share the tools of alignment with those of you who are now embodied, we encourage you to become aware of the legions of support from the non physical dimension. The Masters, Teachers and Loved Ones within Akasha are always available for you to tap into and receive insight and guidance. There is an infinite resource of wisdom and intelligence and creativity available for you from those of us who have known what it is to be human and are deeply connected to the earth plane. We desire to be of support. 

Your artists, innovators, creatives, and intellectuals of the recent past are looking to assist humanity as well. Your world is in a great and profound transition and the potential for transformation is great. You can participate in your own way. By accessing the beings who have interacted with you in the physical in the past, you can receive a new perspective that can be very helpful for you as you navigate the current challenge. Become aware of them and they will give you the insight that will become a part of the solutions being sequestered by much of humanity now as a result of this intense period in human history. 

Know that you have come to this time and space because you had both something to give, and something to receive from the conditions that are present within this lifetime. Open to the awareness of your personal and intimate purpose for coming into the physical world at this time. Check in and ask your Soul, what It wants to know, feel, experience, receive and give. As you tune into your Soul perspective in this way, you will not only feel enlightened, you will sense yourself becoming a frequency that will be of great service to this time and space and this will be of great solace to your human mind. As your human consciousness is soothed you will truly be able to experience this contraction with a greater excitement and joy. 

You are indeed on the ride of your life! Your Soul came here for these times. Remember this. You are strong. You are so brave and you have so much to offer. Your presence is precious and perfectly perfect for this moment. Be you! The greatest gift you give to the body of humanity and the body of God, is for you to BE YOU fully, unapologetically, with love, grounded in self-love, with respect for self and other, with joy, creativity and humility. Be natural. Be you. We need you now to drop the mask and claim your worth, your Bare Beauty. 

Step in dear ones, or you will be asked to step aside. It is time. Let this historic contraction of divine proportion be the impetus that takes you out of the sidelines and inspires you to dive in. The Divine dives in!  So embody the divine you, embrace your soul, and liberate yourself from the fear propelled by the human consciousness, and infuse the Soul perspective into this world so that you all may know the beauty that is being created right now, by you and all the legions of beings both physical and non physical. 

In Love and Oneness

~Divine Guidance

The Inner Hurricane

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‘Eye of the Storm” oil on canvas, Beki

This has week has been utterly exhausting emotionally and mentally, as we and many more in the Caribbean, Florida and the South Eastern US have been watching the strongest biggest storm on record to plough its way through the waters crushing islands and threatening our safety, stuff and peace of mind.

Peace of mind is what I really want to address here. How do we cultivate an aptitude to inner peace, so that when life’s hurricanes, literally or figuratively, threaten our wellbeing, we are able to respond from peace rather than fear? Today is 9/11, an infamous day here in the US when the Twin Towers in New York City were reduced to rubble after 2 planes intentionally flew into them. It was shocking and devastating and rocked the sense of security Americans had felt in regards to such attacks. It shattered a collective sense of comfort and maybe a false peace of mind. 911 are the number we dial to call for HELP.

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How can we dial directly to the help that taps into the peace of mind that allows us to weather any storm that life delivers to us? Yesterday, in the midst of this whole experience of preparing for Hurricane Irma that was slowly turning west away from us, revealing that the personal threat to our town and home would be minimal, I grappled with my own inner storm. I woke up at 3 am to find my two sons and nephew ‘mesmerized’ in playing computer games together. It triggered a mini storm in my head that I seemed incapable of quelling. My initial internal venting entailed feelings of anger, indignation, irritation, hopelessness for humanity and the obsession with these glowing screens that give us this false sense of connection with each other, but actually rob us of the connection with the organic world of human contact and the beautiful earth we inhabit. Yes I went there! As a mother of 3 sons I have grappled with this feeling of frustration around the whole issue of video games and such for 20 years. It has definitely been one of those reoccurring concerns/thorns that has contributed to taking away my Inner Peace, uncountable times. Needless to say, the inner storm amidst the outer storm robbed me of much needed sleep.

I don’t want to focus so much on the issue of glowing screens here. What I am really interested in is the inner storms that can be triggered by thousands of stressful thoughts. Usually the thought is aligned with fear. Certainly the discomfort felt in preparing for a hurricane and watching the media coverage around the storm has the potential to cause as much angst as riding out the storm itself. It is the projection of a devastating future, fear future, that grips us. With the modern conveniences of glowing screens 24 hours a day, we have this thought that somehow we can control the outcomes by listening to the confusing, mixed messages offered, whether it is about the weather or diseases or politics. We cling to the messages hoping they will provide us with the guidance that will solve the problems that face humanity. Secretly we wish for the guidance to quell the storm in our mind, possibly even more than the condition that is causing it. Of course the true guidance we seek can only be found in the silencing of the fear-based chatter and to go to the True Source of all solutions.

Suffering stems from the thoughts, not the reality. I have suffered on and off this past week as we navigated the information about this outer storm. There were times I was able to consciously focus on peace and stayed away from the media as much as possible, but still would catch wind of fearful frequencies. Well, how could I miss them. The frequencies of the fear blew as strong as Irma’s winds. We are challenged to find a way to the inner peace, the ‘I’ of the storm, that is serene amongst the mayhem of life. This is the greatest challenge of the times, I feel. The distractions are unbelievable! How can we cultivate this Inner Peace instead of feed the fire of the Inner Storm?

While I do not know what the ultimate answer is for that question, I do know that I am on a journey of answering that for myself. Each of us needs to find our own way. It is the awareness and intention that is the first step. As we become aware of the source of our inner storm as the thoughts we think, then we realize that we can intentionally redirect the thoughts. What activity or practice can support you in redirecting thoughts? I walk in nature. I write, I paint. Sometimes meditation helps. Going to sleep is miraculous. What calms your storm? What nurtures the scared inner child? What soothes you back into alignment with the Source of your True Self?

peacePeace’, oil on canvas, by Beki

When I align with Love, with the Divine, with my Inner Being, the unlimited, eternal Self I feel a deep joyful peace. When I feel this peace, I do not feel fear. The two emotions cannot abide together. I recently heard a zen monk say, ” To be fearless really is actually being peaceful.” Unconditional Love is really being able to stay aligned with Love regardless of the conditions. Unconditional Peace, Joy, Love. This is the practice that brings freedom.

When I am able to live more and more from this cultivated, intentional place of unconditional Love, Peace and Joy then not only do I benefit from this freedom, but I have a chance to affect Peace in the world around me, one person at a time. My very presence will then have the potential to quell the storm within another, and another and another.

 

 

Rich Mother

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Rich mother
With very little money
Rich
Regardless of the condition of money being present.

Like unconditional love
Love,
Regardless of the conditions that are present.

A mother who taught me what it is to be rich
With or without the tangible manifestation of
Money.

She teases about going to the ‘Ocean Course’,
When I am taking care of her
When she becomes to…something…to take care of herself.
We laugh that I may put her on a budget and
That the extravagance of the plush beach resort restaurant
Will be too much for me to afford for her.

My heart smiles
And I think what a joy, pleasure and honor it would be to
Take her to her favorite place that feeds her soul
with food drenched in island sun
and an eyeful of sea-full splendor.

To be rich is to know you are worthy
Of such beauty
Such art
Regardless of how much money you have in your wallet or bank account.

To be rich is to live in a humble dwelling
and make it into a royal palace
of sacred opulent beauty
Infused with the divine
Emanating from objects reflecting consciousness
Art on every wall
Paintings by her
By me
By her grandson.

To be rich is to wake up each morning in this beautiful
Warm glow of spirit
Surrounding
Enveloping
And oozing from
you
Her
me.

To be rich is to know how to live Unconditional Love
To Love without condition
aware of
Connected to
The Divine Love
That we all are
No matter what shows up in our experience.

Opulence beyond your imagination
Living from the very core of your Soul
Where we are in communion with the realm of the Divine,
The Infinite Field of Possibility and Unconditional Love.

This is the rich soil
From which my being originates
In the dark soil of the Great Mother
and the sweet awakening spirit
Of the earth mother
Who knew her worth at a core level
Even when she was not aware of it.

So yes
My sweet matriarch, crone and wise woman
I will take you to the beautiful place that makes your heart sing
And I will breathe in the scent of salt air
and savor the bread pudding
Soaking up the sweet spirit of your soul
That has nurtured and given me permission to be
Worthy of the deep, delicious connection with my soul.

Life is so Rich
I can barely contain myself!

(The picture is of my mother with her 3 daughters)